Eragon: Chapter Sixteen: Therinsford (Part III)

[pangolin20]

Chapter Sixteen (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Sixteen (Part IV)

Fumurti: Hello everyone, and welcome back to Eragon! Last time, we had some quite unpleasant stuff and Brom and Eragon got some money.

 

 

Let me attend to the reader post, then.

 

First, I got a request from Epistler to stick to a set of counts. My first reaction was to consider throwing them all out, but, well, "moderation is a wiser policy than zealotry", so I've decided to stick with a small set instead:

 

A Better Commando Name: 12

All The Isms: 14

Edgy Equals Mature, Right?: 3

Forgot the Narrator: 31

FYRP: 47

Give Me a Piece of Your Mind: 2

Ill Logic: 265

It's Like We're Smart But We're Not: 25

IYES: 27

Just Break Up Already: 247

Like Coins Bounced Off a Drum: 1

No-Wave Feminism: 61

No Touchy: 7

PPP: 737

Stick the Dogma Over Facts: 5

Thou Art Well Come: 2

What Dragons?: 309

 

And that will be it for the rest of this book, too.

 

On part I of chapter 9, Tris notes that the ice on the inside of the windows does indeed not make sense, because that would rot the wood.

 

It's Like We're Smart But We're Not: 26

 

CN, while talking to Tris, also notes that Garrow's advice not to "give people their heart" might as well amount to telling them to kill themselves, which... is fair.

 

On part II... I do not have any concrete stuff to put in, though there is Chessy independently arriving at the conclusion that the Ra'zac asked the traders and some good discussion on what makes or does not make the Ra'zac menacing. So, if you might be interested, here it is.

 

 

On to the next part of the chapter, then! This should be quite easy, actually.

 

 

This part begins with Brom and Eragon approaching the "barn" at the end of Therinsford. Epistler also noted on the previous part that it makes little sense for Therinsford to have a barn with horses. I guess they might sell those to the traders? It still feels too much like plot convenience for me, though.

 

Well, the doors are open and they can see "two long rows of stables", or, as the Knopf edition puts it, "stables". There are "saddles, harnesses, and other paraphernalia" on the far wall. There also stands a "man with muscular arms" who is brushing a "white stallion". He beckons them over.

 

As they come near, Brom says the horse is a "beautiful animal". The man agrees, and we get a quite significant change. In the self-published edition, he gives the horse's name as "Snowmane". I think that's not a good name for the horse. For some reason, possibly because I see this is the name of Théoden's horse in LOTR, the Knopf edition changes this, to... "Snowfire". It's... a less obvious name, though I could certainly see it if he was quite spirited. That is the problem, though: he isn't. And that makes this name quite pointless, because it seems to refer to an attribute he doesn't have.

 

A Better Commando Name: 13

 

I'd rather have gone with "Snowcoat" or maybe something else entirely. Either way, here we have picked up another of our recurring characters!

The man introduces himself as "Haberth" and he "vigorously" shakes hands with Eragon and Brom. There is a "polite pause" as he waits for them to name themselves, but when they don't, he asks if he can help them. Brom nods and says they need two horses, for him and "the boy", along with a complete set of tack. The horses need to be "fast and tough", as they will be doing a lot of travelling. The self-published edition notes that Eragon leans against a stall and lets them talk.

 

Haberth thinks a bit, and he says that he does not "have many animals like that", and those he does aren't cheap. So he does not sell his horses to the traders? After all, if he did, I would expect him to have more horses for fast travelling. Snowfire moves restlessly and Haberth calms him. Then Brom says this: “Price is no object. I’ll take the best you have,” said Brom.

 

Yes, people, "price is no object". And this error made it all the way into the newest edition. That is the power of editing. I think this should rather say "Price is no objection" or "Price doesn't matter".

 

PPP: 738

 

Haberth nods and ties Snowfire to a stall. He pulls down two piles of tack from the wall, then indicates that they should wait and gets a "light bay" and a "roan" from the stalls. The bay pulls on his rope. Haberth says he is "a little spirited", but that shouldn't be a problem with "a firm hand", as he hands the rope to Brom.

 

Brom lets the horse smell his hand and then rubs his neck. He agrees to take the horse. Then he looks at the roan and says he is not so sure of him. Not that we know why this is. Haberth says he is not bad, as he has "some good legs on him". Um, do we need to see all of this in full? I don't see how it contributes to the book.

 

Well, Brom then decides to go for Snowfire. Hmmm, on the one hand, I get it, since he's the white stallion, which means he's a distinctive horse, so storywise, he should go with our protagonists. On the other hand, he's a distinctive horse, so they should not take him, since they're trying to stay undercover! In fact, Roran will complain about this exact issue in Brisingr!

 

Ill Logic: 266

 

Haberth "look[s] fondly" at Snowfire and says that he rather would not sell him. He is the finest he has ever bred, and he hopes to "sire a whole line from him". Brom then asks how much it would cost if Haberth were willing to sell Snowfire. Then we cut back to Eragon, and the Knopf edition has at least a paragraph break here. It's still clumsy, given how little we've seen of Eragon just now, but better.

 

He tries to put his hand on the bay like Brom did, but it shies away. Just as he would with Saphira, he mentally reaches out to comfort the horse. He "stiffen[s] with surprise" as he actually touches the bay's mind! The self-published edition notes that he hides this by "moving behind the horse where Haberth [cannot] see him." Why? Why would Haberth be suspicious of Eragon's surprise? And even if he was, how could he derive much from that? What kind of paranoid nonsense is this?

 

The contact is not as "clear or sharp" as with Saphira, but he can communicate "to a limited degree", which he uses to make it understand that he is a friend. The bay calms and looks at him with "liquid brown eyes".

 

Cut back to Haberth... who has been doing nothing in the meantime, apparently? Well, he counts the price of the purchase, which he does on his fingers (because we needed to know that for some reason?). He gives the price as "[t]wo hundred crowns and no less". We are told that he is "clearly confident" that no one will pay that amount. Well, is that unreasonable, then? I get the feeling that is quite some money indeed. Brom then opens his pouch and counts out the money. He asks if it will do.

 

...There's no way the bridgekeeper had that much money on him if he wasn't supposed to be there. As I said, the people of Therinsford would have acted if that was the case.

 

Well, Haberth considers for a while. He sighs and then says that he is Brom's, "though [he goes] against [his] heart." Brom says he will treat Snowfire "as if he [has] been sired by Gildintor, the greatest steed of legend."

 

Um, if Gildintor is indeed "the greatest steed of legend", why does Brom feel the need to explain that to Haberth? Surely he would already know about him? This would be fine in narration, but it is simply not something that Brom would say to someone.

 

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 32

 

Second, we will never find out what legend this Gildintor is from. I certainly do not mind a reference to something like this, but it would be nice to also get some expansion on it. As it is, there is no worldbuilding done by this and it leaves a dead end. That is not very nice.

 

Haberth bows his head a bit at this and says Brom's words "gladden [him]". He helps them saddle the horses, and when they are ready to leave, he bids them farewell. "For the sake of Snowfire", he hopes that they will not get into misfortune. Brom promises he will guard Snowfire well, and they leave.

 

Once they are outside, he hands Snowfire's reins to Eragon and he tells him to "go to the far side of Therinsford and wait there." So do you want Eragon to go back to the side you came from? Because that is "the far side" for you. If you mean "the far side" as seen from Carvahall, Eragon doesn't have to "go" there, since you are already there! Well-written, Paolini!

 

PPP: 739

 

Eragon asks why, but Brom has already left. He gets understandably annoyed about this (seriously, what would have been the trouble in telling Eragon where he goes?). Then we have a scene that is only in the self-published edition.

 

Eragon starts to leave, but then decides to "enviously" watch two boys race after each other through the street. He says he wants nothing more than join them and "forget about Saphira and the Ra'zac", but he knows that can't be. Oh, you want to forget about Saphira? The dragon you raised and are supposed to have such a good bond with? Yes, I get that he wants to forget about the trouble he's in, but this makes him look very selfish.

 

Then... we have this:

 

I’ve learned too much to ever live in peace again. Those boys think they are safe, that they can play in the streets without care, but I know better. There is no defense against the powers of this world. Lives can be brushed away like motes of dust.

 

Sure, mister Edgelord. This is just so silly, not to mention quite arrogant. You aren't touching their minds, Eragon, so you don't know what they are thinking, after all. And look at how he positions himself as knowing "better" than these boys. No, Eragon, being an edgelord doesn't make you "smart".

 

The Knopf edition thankfully removes this. In both editions, Eragon leaves Therinsford with the horses and goes to wait by the road. (So why did Eragon need to go to "the far side" again?) To the south, he can see "the hazy outline of Utgard", which he compares to "a giant monolith". Um, why does Eragon know "monolith"?

 

Forgot the Narrator: 33

 

Second... I don't think this adds very much to the description. Yes, the mountain sits at the end of the valley like a big stone. Yes, it does.

Like Coins Bounced Off a Drum: 2

 

The peak pierces the clouds and the mountain towers over the others. It has a "dark, ominous look" that makes Eragon's scalp tingle. Brom soon returns and indicates that Eragon should follow. They walk until Therinsford is hidden by trees. Then, Brom says that the Ra'zac certainly went past Therinsford. Ah yes, the Ra'zac! Who they will certainly be catching once they figure out how to evade the mind-control... Also, if Brom wanted to get information just now, why couldn't he tell Eragon?

 

Well, the Ra'zac stopped to pick up horses, just like they did. Brom found a man who saw them, and this man "described them with many shudders" (which the self-published edition notes is to assure Brom they are frightening; thank you for that) and said that "they had galloped through Therinsford like demons fleeing a holy man".

 

My, do I have trouble with this.

 

1) First, there is the question of why the Ra'zac picked up horses here. I do have an idea, though I'll save it for chapter 22.

 

2) Why did this man describe them as "demons fleeing a holy man" when we will barely get any references to demons and none at all to "holy men"? This simile is severely out of place here.

 

Forgot the Speaker Narrator: 34

 

3) Since the Ra'zac must have got their horses from Haberth... why did we have no indication of that? He didn't seem like that had happened to him, and at the least, I would have expected him to tell Eragon and Brom to watch out for them when they went travelling.

 

4) Why were the Ra'zac gallopping through Therinsford​? Wouldn't that be the opposite direction from where they'd want to go? Hmmm, it might make sense, so I won't score it.

 

Well, Eragon says the Ra'zac left quite an impression, which Brom affirms (for some reason). Eragon then says that he accidentally touched the bay's mind in the barn, and he did not know it was possible to do so. Brom frowns and says this:

 

"It's unusual for one as young as you to have the ability. Most Riders had to train for years before they were strong enough to contact anything other than their dragon."

 

I... once again have trouble with this. I don't mind the information, of course, but it just doesn't fit with what we'll see later, which is that most mages, and even some non-mages, are quite capable of touching people's minds. For example, Arya, who isn't a Rider, will prove to be perfectly capable of making mental contact in this very book.

 

The way it's presented here, especially given that Riders get a boost of their magical abilities by virtue of being a Rider, I'd expect that the ability would be very rare. But it's not, and Brom should know that! I just get the feeling it hasn't been thought through at all.

 

I also don't see why it would be a matter of mental "strength"? I'd rather associate that with being able to talk at increased distances, which we saw took about a month for Eragon. As we will see in Eldest, I think it's rather a matter of focussing, which certainly shouldn't take years to do. If it took years for the Riders, I'm quite sure that's because their training was deliberately slow.

 

It just makes Brom look like he hasn't lived in Alagaësia all this time!

 

Finally, I note "anything" instead of "anyone". Dragons aren't "things", Brom.

 

Ill Logic: 267

What Dragons?: 310

 

Brom then goes to inspect Snowfire. He tells Eragon to get everything from his pack, put it in the saddlebags, and "tie the pack on top". Eragon does so while Brom mounts Snowfire. Well, that was a nice change of topic.

 

Eragon looks "doubtfully" at the bay. He says it’s so much smaller than Saphira that “for an absurd moment”, he wonders if it can “bear his weight”. I don’t mind this; yes, it’s weird, but I think weird thoughts are just a natural phenomenon. Speaking of Saphira, though, we haven’t heard of her since she left to hide. Shouldn’t Eragon try to contact her by now?

 

What Dragons?: 311

 

Well, Eragon goes to climb into the saddle and sits “stiffly”. We’re told he’s only “ridden horses bareback, and never for any distance”. Then I do hope he won’t have too much problems here! He asks if it’s “going to do the same thing to [his] legs as riding Saphira”.

 

No, because 1) the horse doesn’t have hard and sharp sides 2) you don’t have to cling to it very hard and 3) you can actually get off if necessary. So no, it will not impossibly tear your legs to shreds, and I don’t know why Eragon even thinks it will? Like, if horse riding was known for routinely blistering and/or tearing people’s legs open, why would it be this popular? It makes sense for him to be nervous about this; it just doesn’t make sense that he would think it would hurt him as much as riding Saphira would.

 

Ill Logic: 268

 

Brom asks how they feel now, and Eragon says they do not feel too bad, but he thinks that “any hard riding” will break the scabs. Brom promises they will go easy. Why not bother to heal Eragon’s legs, then? Yes, I know he doesn’t want Eragon to know he’s a magician, but at this rate, they’ll never catch the Ra’zac. Brom then gives Eragon “a few pointers” about riding, and they’re off.

 

The countryside soon changes from “cultivated fields” to wilder land. There are “[b]rambles and tangled weeds” along the road, and also “huge rosebushes that [cling] to their clothes”. Um, are you sure you took the right path? This is certainly not the path the traders take, after all; if they did, there wouldn’t be rosebushes hanging over the way. They’re also apparently not following the tracks of the Ra’zac now? So I would expect them to take the way the traders take, because the Ra’zac would have had to have followed a road to leave the valley (they’re on horses, after all). And once outside the valley, even if they took another way from the Ra’zac, they could find the exit and see where they went. There’s no reason to take this trail.

 

I also get the impression this is supposed to be the only trail out of the valley, but that simply doesn’t make sense. If it were, it would be better kept than this. After all, the traders came past just a month ago! I don’t think the rosebushes would have grown back over the path in that time. It just doesn’t make sense.

 

Ill Logic: 269

Stick the Dogma Over Facts: 6

 

We get more description: tall rocks come out of the ground, and there is “an unfriendly feel” in the air, “an animosity that resist[s] intruders”. Are you very sure this is the right trail? Utgard looms above them, with “craggy precipices” and “snowy canyons”. He says that the “black rock” of Utgard “absorb[s] light like a sponge and dim[s] the surrounding area, darkening the day.”

 

Good to see that Eragon knows about sponges. I could accept that if he lived close to the sea, but he doesn’t, so it feels off.

 

Forgot the Narrator: 35

 

Also, is this mountain actually sucking light from the environment?? That seems like something certainly worth paying more attention to, but Eragon hardly seems to note. And this won’t be noted on the two other occasions that Utgard is visited, either. It just feels very random to include it like this.

 

More description follows: Between Utgard and the mountains on the east side of Palancar Valley is a “deep cleft”, which is said to be “the only practical way out of the valley”. Yes, that fits with the map, I see. The road, of course, leads toward it and curves around Utgard. We get a note of how the horses’ hooves sound as they go over gravel, and the road goes to a “skinny trail” when it goes around Utgard. Eragon looks up at the peak (and in the self-published edition “[s]uppress[es] a shudder”) and sees that there is a “steepled tower” on top of it. He then calls it a “turret” and says it’s “crumbling and in disrepair”, but still a “stern sentinel over the valley”. He points and asks what it is.

 

Brom already knows what he means and says “sadly and with bitterness” that it is “an outpost of the Riders—one that has lasted since their founding”. Well, I am very sure, because we will hear this multiple times, that this outpost was made 800 years ago, long after their founding. In fact, in the self-published edition, he will say this on the following page. How hard is this?

 

PPP: 740

 

I’m also a little confused about Brom calling it an “outpost” of the Riders. As we will hear in the next part, it was created to control a rebellious area, and I don’t think that’s exactly an “outpost”? Well, he says that that is where Vrael fled when he was defeated and where Galbatorix found and killed him “through treachery”. Through whose treachery? I don’t think we ever find out, and it would certainly be nice to know… How would anyone even have known where he went? If he wanted to survive, I don’t think he would have told much people during the battle… You know, I think Galbatorix or one of the Forsworn might have got it from Vrael’s mind! Yes, that makes sense!

 

When Vrael fell, this area was tainted.

 

How? I guess that is the reason for the “unfriendly atmosphere” that hangs here and Utgard sucking up light, but still… And how would Vrael dying have done this? I… really don’t get this, and I get the distinct feeling that Paolini just mashed some things together without looking at the result.

 

Taking Inheritance into account, though… it looks a lot like what Vroengard is like in the present day, so I guess this “taint” may have come from there? That might maybe also explain how Vrael managed to get here in the first place… Anyway.

 

Edoc’sil, ‘Unconquerable,’ was the name of this bastion, for the mountain is so steep none may reach the top unless they can fly.

 

So… it’s easily conquerable by, say, a rebel Rider and dragon. Not that I mind the name, just something I felt like pointing out.

 

After Vrael’s death the commoners called it Utgard,

 

Why? I also think that was always the common name for it and it became more noticeable once the Riders were gone. It’s just… why would the people of Palancar Valley come up with an entirely different name just to commemorate Vrael’s death? I don’t like how Brom talk about “the commoners”, either.

 

All The Isms: 15 (classism)

 

but it has another name, Ristvak’baen—the ‘Place of Sorrow’. It was known as such to the last Riders before they were killed by the king.”

 

I have no issues with the name here (though I do wish that Paolini used double instead of single quotes). That last sentence, though, does not fit with the rest of the canon at all. We never hear about Riders who stayed in the open after the death of Vrael or who were killed by Galbatorix. What would they even let themselves be killed for?

 

PPP: 745 (+5) (continuity break)

 

This is something that is quite unique to Eragon: the way it often doesn’t fit with the later books at all. I just feel like Paolini though of quite some stuff for Eldest later and didn’t bother to edit it into the Knopf edition.

 

And I also note that Brom doesn’t class the Forsworn as Riders. Well, Eragon just looks with awe, and says that it’s a “tangible remnant of the Riders’ glory”, though it’s been tarnished by “the relentless pull of time”. He’s struck by just how old the Riders are, and he says a “legacy of tradition and heroism that stretche[s] back to antiquity” has befallen him.

 

Um, a “legacy of tradition”? That… I find it hard to parse that, and I don’t think that Eragon can carry it on anyway, since he doesn’t know the Riders’ traditions. Also, “antiquity”? I see that word is only used twice in this sense in the series, so it already feels out of place, but also, what “antiquity”? We don’t hear anything about an “antique” period during the Riders’ rule.

 

That aside, this just doesn’t sound like Eragon. It rather sounds like Paolini just threw in some buzzwords to make this sound cool, without bothering to check if it makes sense.

 

Forgot the Narrator: 37 (+2)

PPP: 746

 

Then we get into stuff that’s only in the self-published edition. Eragon suddenly gets an “almost uncontrollable urge” to visit Ristvak’baen. He then reasons that he could best go when “the danger has passed”, as Ristvak’baen won’t go anywhere. Then he touches Saphira’s mind! Yay, he’s finally thought about Saphira! Too bad that the Knopf edition outright deletes this.

 

What Dragons?: 311

 

He notes she is hidden “at the edge of the trail a ways ahead”. That’s quite far out from Therinsford; I guess she wanted to go ahead already? He says that they will be there soon. She likes that, because it’s an “evil place” and she wants to be gone. He tells her that she can fly around if she wants, and if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to wait. That’s nice, I’d say. She is relieved and says she’ll do that, and they part.

 

And that’s where I’d like to stop for this time. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the last time, but it’s still rather… boring, frankly. Next time, we hear a story and the three leave Palancar Valley. Until then!