Eragon: Chapter Nine: Strangers in Carvahall (Part II)

[pangolin20]

Chapter Nine (Part I) | Table of Contents | Chapter Ten (Part I)

Corneille Noire: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Eragon!

Scales: Can I interrupt for a bit?

Corneille Noire: …Yes?

Scales: I’d like to merge Connection Has Been Lost into PPP, and add the count Why Are We Doing This? from the same source as before, namely Silais’s sporking of Chrono Cross.

Corneille Noire: Can you promise me that this will be the last count we will have to score retroactively?

Scales: I promise.

So, the second count goes for all the times that that question can be asked, so mostly whenever the plot set-up doesn’t make sense, and whenever there’s out-of-place things going on. So I’ll give this some 25 points, plus one for now.

Why Are We Doing This?: 26

S Why Are We Doing This?: 26

As for the second change…

PPP: 346

S PPP: 438

*leaves*

Corneille Noire: My, we really have not been holding back with these, now have we? Ah well, as long as it is consistent…

Anyway. We last left off with Eragon deciding to go after obviously dangerous strangers all by himself, because we need to get our plot rolling somehow.

Horst says that he did not warn Eragon “because [he] thought [Eragon] needed to meet those men”, and he tells Eragon to leave Carvahall and go home. Eragon’s reaction is this:

“All right,” said Eragon to placate the smith, “if you think I should.”

 

“If you think I should”. After all, trying to avoid the strangers is just so unreasonable. I also note that he is only trying to placate Horst, which means that he does not take him seriously at all. Exactly who I would like to be reading about.

 

Horst says that he does, and his “face soften[s]”. He says that he might be overreacting, but he got a “bad feeling” from the strangers. Eragon would do better to stay home until they are gone, and he will do his best to keep them away from the farm, for whatever good it might do. Too bad that we never hear about his efforts to do this again.

Drop It Like It’s Hot: 33

S Drop It Like It’s Hot: 33

Eragon gives him a grateful look, and he states in the self-published edition that “Horst [has] always been a good friend.” He wishes that he could tell him about Saphira. Um, why can you not do so? Because Horst will give you away to the Empire? Because he will want to kill Saphira? You just said he is “a good friend”. What reason do you have to not tell him, especially since the strangers might be looking for her? Yes, it is plot-required, but it still does not make sense.

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 44

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 46

Why Are We Doing This?: 27

S Why Are We Doing This?: 27

He says he will leave now and hurries back to Roran, who he “clasp[s] on the arm” and bids him farewell. Roran is surprised and asks if Eragon will not stay for some time. Eragon almost laughs, and the self-published edition notes that “[u]nreasonably, the question [strikes] him as funny.” Yes, it does come across as unreasonable to me, when Eragon might be about to get himself killed. The Knopf edition changes this to “[f]or some reason”. Regardless, he tells Roran that there is nothing for him to do, and he will not “stand around until [Roran goes]”. Roran, of course, does not question this at all.

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 45

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 47

He says “doubtfully” that he thinks this will be the last time they will see each other “for a couple of months”. Oh, if you only knew, Roran… Eragon quickly says that he is sure it will not seems so long, and tells Roran to “[t]ake care and come back soon.” He gives him a hug, and then quickly leaves. And this is the last time that we will see Roran until Eldest, and the last time that we will see Dempton ever.

Horst still stands outside. Aware that Horst is watching, Eragon goes to the edge of Carvahall. Once he is out of sight of the smithy, he “duck[s] behind a building” and sneaks back. He keeps in the shadows and listens to the slightest noise as he “searche[s] each street for his prey”. The self-published edition notes that he is afraid, “but uncertain if there [is] real danger.” He thinks back to his room, where his bow hangs, and he wishes he would be holding it now. Then get some help, Eragon! He prowls across the village, “avoiding everyone” until he hears “a sibilant voice.” The self-published edition clunkily says it comes “from in front of the house he [stands] behind.” The Knopf edition changes this to “around a house”. Though he has sharp hearing, he can barely make out what is being said.

One of the strangers asks when something happened. Eragon describes the voice as “smooth, like oiled glass”, and the words as “seem[ing] to worm their way through the air.”

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 58

S Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 67

RVMP: 44

S RVMP: 45

For the second count… as we will find out, the strangers are not human, as they are from a species called the Ra’zac, and Paolini will do his best to make clear to us that they are inherently evil. So even in their very first appearance, Eragon makes note of how gross their voices are. And that is why I gave the first point, as they have done literally nothing yet, and we already have to hear about this.

Someone else, who Eragon identifies as Sloan, says that it was “[a]bout three months ago.” Because of course Sloan is the one who tells the Ra’zac about the egg, and the one Eragon just so happens to overhear. Very convenient, that, and very petty.

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 59

S Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 68

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 46

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 48

The timeline is also muddled here. According to my notes, Eragon came into Sloan’s shop with Saphira’s egg on October 10^th. And, as I said in the first half of this chapter, this takes place on December 18^th. Three months ago from December 18^th is September 18^th. So this is not anywhere near being true. And the reason that I assume my timeline is correct is because that fits better with the times we will be seeing later. So good to see Paolini lost grip on his timeline nine chapters in.

Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 80

S Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 99

If it were intentional, though, it would be a great way of making Sloan look bad.

The self-published edition notes that Sloan speaks in “a haughty tone”, which Eragon says is different from “the snide hostilities” he expects from Sloan. I have no idea why Sloan thinks it a good idea to talk like this to the Ra’zac.

S Ill Logic: 129

Eragon’s reaction is this:

 

Shade’s blood, he’s telling them…. He resolved to punch Sloan the next time they met.

1) I have to say that “Shade’s blood” is a quite strange curse. True, Shades do have blood, as per the end of this book, but, as Eragon said earlier, they have not been around for a hundred years, as far as he knows. And given how close they are to the Spine, it would make more sense for him to invoke Urgals in his swearing.

If anything, I get the feeling that this is an attempt to foreshadow Durza’s eventual presence. The self-published edition also has a quite out-of-place segment on Shades back in chapter two. Needless to say, it is not really working. I will leave Fumurti to talk more about this in chapter 12. Or she should be on that one, according to my latest schedule.

For now:

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 48

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 50

2) Of course Eragon immediately wants to hurt Sloan. No thought that the Ra’zac might have threatened Sloan, and that he might not be telling this just to mess with Eragon. Never mind that Sloan has no idea of what the egg really is. He does not know that he will put Saphira in danger, for example! True, it is not great that he tells them about Eragon, but he also does not have much choice, given that he is interrogated by two obviously evil strangers. And, at this point, even if he did not tell them, they would probably be able to smell Eragon anyway. Also, as we will soon see, they would be able to mind-control Sloan into answering.

In conclusion, the Ra’zac finding out about Eragon is a foregone conclusion at this point. And Eragon’s reaction is completely inappropriate, as Sloan does not do this to deliberately hurt Eragon.

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 59 (because Sloan is made out to be the culprit when he is not)

S Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 68

Look Away: 339 (completely acceptable to hurt him, is it not?)

S Look Away: 346

The other Ra’zac speaks up now. Their voice is described as “deep and moist”, and Eragon associates it with “creeping decay, mold, and other things best left untouched.”

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 60

S Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 68

RVMP: 45

S RVMP: 46

For the same reasons as above. The Ra’zac asks if Sloan is sure, and that they would hate to think that Sloan had made a mistake, as “[that] would be most… unpleasant.” Eragon says he “can only imagine too well” what they may do. He asks if “anyone but the Empire” would dare threaten people like this. He decides not, but thinks that “whoever sent the egg might be powerful enough to use force with impunity.”

Um, why does someone have to be capable of “using force with impunity” to make such threats? After all, they do not have to follow through on a threat to be able to make it. Also, why would they need “impunity”? Why do they need to be completely invincible to be able to do this confidently?

It just… The assertion that only the Empire or people who can “use force with impunity” would dare to utter a threat like this is utterly ridiculous to me. For example, he has seen Horst threaten Sloan and Morn threatening the traders, and neither would fall in these two categories. So why in the world does he claim this now??

Forgot the Narrator: 15

S Forgot the Narrator: 18

Ill Logic: 113

S Ill Logic: 130

Sloan panics a little, saying that he is sure that Eragon had the egg, that he is not lying, and that “plenty of people saw it”. He tells them to go ask the other people. Um, who saw it, exactly? Horst, Albriech and Baldor in this version, and Katrina. I would not call that “plenty of people”. The Knopf edition amends this to “plenty of people know about it”.

S Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 100

Sloan sounds “shaken”, and he says something that Eragon does not comprehend. One of the Ra’zac “derisive[ly]” says that the other people were “rather uncooperative”. The self-published edition has this, by the way:

“They have been… rather uncooperative,” the words were derisive.

This dialogue tag is the worst so far, in my opinion.

S PPP: 439

The Ra’zac goes on to say that Sloan’s information “has been helpful”, and that they will not forget him. Eragon believes them. Sloan mutters something, and then runs for his life. Eragon peeks around the corner to see what is happening.

Eragon sees “[t]wo tall men [standing] in the street.”

No-Wave Feminism: 56 (they are still not both men)

S No-Wave Feminism: 62

They are wearing “long black cloaks” that are lifted by “sheaths poking past their legs.” They are wearing shirts with “insignias intricately wrought with silver thread.” They have hoods over their faces, and gloves on their hands. Their backs are “strangely humped”, which Eragon likens to padding being under their clothing.

1) Why do we not have the insignia described to us? Given how much frankly pointless things are described in this series, it feels like an oversight, or even petty, like the Ra’zac’s symbols are not worth describing.

2) If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that those “humps” on their back are caused by wings.

3) I cannot help but note that I can look quite like them, too, if I would put my hood up. I would only need to have the insignia on my cloak… Maybe I could play as one of them.

Anyway, Eragon, not being very genre-savvy, shifts to get a better view. One of the Ra’zac immediately notices him and “grunt[s] peculiarly to his companion.” They both turn around and crouch for some reason. Eragon’s breath catches and “[m]ortal fear clenche[s] him.”

Paoclichés: 13

S Paoclichés: 16

He looks at their faces and “a stifling power [falls] over his mind, keeping him in place.” Quite impressive indeed! They have only just seen him and they already have him in their grasp! If only I could do that…

Anyway, Eragon struggles against it and shouts at himself to move, with, of course, no effect. The Ra’zac walk toward him with a “smooth, noiseless gait”. He knows that they can see his face. Yes, that may be a concern, but only if he can get away now. They are almost at the corner, and they are grasping for their swords… when someone calls Eragon’s name. Because if this was allowed to run its course, this story would go very different than Paolini wanted to, beginning in chapter 9. Come to think of it, let me finish this:

“Eragon!” He recognised the voice as Brom’s and redoubled his efforts to break free. Before he could make any progress, one of the strangers darted around the corner, sword in hand. A soft thud followed. The remaining stranger kept looking at him, and his terror melted away, to be replaced by elation. He did not protest as the stranger grabbed his wrist and began leading him away.

True, it is not very good, but it makes more sense than what is about to happen. Brom calls Eragon’s name, at which the Ra’zac “[freeze] in place and hiss[]”. And why? Even if they were discovered, they could simply make Eragon follow them at the earliest opportunity, or, given their physical abilities, grab him and run away. Yes, it is necessary because of the plot, but then Paolini could also not have written this scene.

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 49

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 51

Brom hurries towards Eragon, “head bare and staff in hand”. Barely a match for two people with swords, I must say. He cannot see the Ra’zac because of the house. Eragon tries to warn him, but he is still under their influence and thus cannot do so. Brom shouts Eragon’s name again, the Ra’zac give him one last look, and they “slip[] away between the houses.”

Yes, they just decided to leave, despite having an overwhelming advantage, for no reason other than “if they did, the plot could not play out”.

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 54

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 56

For how very egregious this is.

To be fair, this could be used to indicate that Brom is far more than he looks like, and a similar situation will soon be used to that end. The problem with that is that Brom simply is not a match for them, as he is not immune to their mind-control, for example.

Going to in-universe, I have no idea why the Ra’zac did not decide to catch Eragon. After all, that is what Galbatorix would want, and by holding him hostage, they could easily get Saphira, too. I could see it if they only wanted to scare him, because that might explain why they left when Brom came, but that needs more explanation than we are given here, so…

Why Are We Doing This?: 28

S Why Are We Doing This?: 28

And this comes to a large problem with the Ra’zac: we will not find out why they do any of what they do. Coupled with them acting like, well, cartoon villains, while we are clearly supposed to take them completely seriously, there is a severe disconnect between what the story presents them as, and what they actually are like. This will become especially bad come Eldest.

Back to the matter at hand, the best explanation I have for this, especially given how they will act later on, is that they are doing generically evil things just because, and generally having fun, no matter how much it may contribute to what they are supposed to do.

Manual Patch Job: 46

S Manual Patch Job: 47

Anyway, now that the Ra’zac no longer mind-control him, Eragon collapses, shivering. We are told that “[s]weat bead[s] his forehead, making his palms sticky.” Um, unless he has put his hands to his forehead, that will not happen. The Knopf edition amends this to sweat beading on his forehead and making his palms sticky.

S PPP: 440

In the self-published edition, Eragon “start[s] with surprise” as Brom’s shadow falls on him. I do not know why he is that surprised, given that Brom just walked toward him. We are told that Brom looks concerned, and that his beard “bristle[s] aggressively.” I am… quite certain beards cannot do that.

S Ill Logic: 131

S PPP: 441

The Knopf edition rightly deletes this bit. Brom now offers Eragon a hand and pulls him to his feet. He says that Eragon looks sick and asks if everything is fine with him. Eragon gulps and nods. He looks around for “anything unusual.” And I just want to show this next bit:

S: “I just got dizzy all of a sudden… but it’s passed. It was very odd—I don’t know why it happened.” The strangers were dangerous; he was sure of that now. What am I going to do? They’re going to come after us! I have to tell Garrow.

 

K: “I just got dizzy all of a sudden… it’s passed. It was very odd—I don’t know why it happened.”

Well, let me address the extra bit from the self-published edition first. I have to say that it is a very understated reaction to what he has just gone through, especially since it is absent from the Knopf edition. I would really expect him to be more scared of them, and horrified because his will was taken from him like this. Yes, Eragon will remember it in Eldest, but other than that, he does not think about this. He does not even remember that they have mind-control powers.

Reaction, Please: 51

S Reaction, Please: 51

Other than that, I am glad to see that he sees the danger.

On to the combined part, then. And my main question is: why does Eragon not tell Brom about the Ra’zac?! Yes, he probably would not like to say that he tried to sneak up on them, but he could make up a lie about that. I think that informing Brom about their mind-control powers, and telling Brom that he himself is probably in danger would be quite important, though. What makes it all the worse is that there is no reason given for this. And it will not be referenced later, either.

It is, of course, a quite blatant attempt to get Brom out of the way for what will happen next, but it could have been done in a way that makes sense.

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 55

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 57

Why Are We Doing This?: 29

S Why Are We Doing This?: 29

Just… why go to all of this contrivance when you could easily have the Ra’zac defeat Brom and whoever went with him. That would also give them that more menace, after all.

Anyway, Brom says that Eragon will recover, but that it might be better if he were home. Well, at least give him a rest period then, because I am quite certain that walking ten miles after having such a dizzy spell is not exactly good for your health. What if he would fall down halfway along, for example?

Ill Logic: 114

S Ill Logic: 132

Some Father You Are: 26

S Some Father You Are: 27

Eragon thinks that he has to get home and be there before the Ra’zac are. He says that he thinks Brom is right and that he might be getting ill. In the self-published edition, he adds that he does not need to see Gertrude, but rest would do him good.

Brom says that home is the best place for him, then, and it might be a long walk, but he will certainly feel better once he arrives. He offers to escort Eragon to the road. Eragon acquiesces as Brom takes his arm and quickly leads him away. Brom’s staff crunches in the snow as they walk on.

Eragon asks why Brom was looking for him. Brom shrugs and says it was “[s]imple curiosity”. He learned that Eragon was in town and he wondered if Eragon had remembered the name of the trader he made up back in chapter 6.

Eragon has forgotten and simply stares blankly, which catches the attention of “Brom’s probing eyes”. He says that he still does not remember. Brom sighs “gruffly, as if something [has] been confirmed”, and rubs his nose. This is apparently Brom confirming that Eragon is indeed a Dragon Rider. Maybe trying to get all that information from Brom was not such a good idea after all, Eragon? Not that Brom will act effectively on this until it is too late.

He says that if Eragon does know, he should say so. He says he is “most interested in this trader who pretends to know so much about dragons.” Again, dragons are not that unknown in Alagaësia! Someone knowing much about dragons is not the impossibility Brom makes it out to be!

Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 81

S Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 101

Eragon nods distractedly. They walk to the road, and then Brom tells Eragon to hasten home. He does not think that tarrying on the way would be a good idea. And why do you not tell him that you know about the Ra’zac, or give him some better advice than this? Why the need for all this secrecy? Brom is really useless, I must say.

Ill Logic: 115

S Ill Logic: 133

Some Father You Are: 27

S Some Father You Are: 28

This is in-character for him, though, so that is something to look forward to. Brom offers Eragon a hand, which Eragon shakes. But as he lets go, “something in Brom’s hand [catches] on his mitt and pull[s] it off.” It drops to the ground, and Brom picks it up. He “apologize[s]” that it was clumsy of him, and hands it back. Do we really need to know that this is an apology? True, it is not on the same level as the infamous “sorry, Brom apologised” line, but still.

PPP: 397

S PPP: 442

Eragon takes the mitt, and Brom grabs his wrist and twists it.

No Touchy: 4

S No Touchy: 4

This is enough for his palm, and the mark on it, to be visible. Brom’s eyes “glint[]”, but he lets Eragon pull his hand away and put it into his mitt.

Let me see what just happened. Brom clearly managed to ascertain that Eragon is a Rider, in frankly the worst way possible. Why go to all of this contrivance, and confront Eragon about it later, instead of asking if he is a Rider? After all, Eragon trusts him, so why not do so? This just makes it obvious that he has been exposed as a Rider, and it will not exactly do miracles to make Eragon trust Brom. Was it also really necessary to twist Eragon’s wrist like that?

Some Father You Are: 32

S Some Father You Are: 33

Also good to see that he knows that the Ra’zac might come after Eragon, but he still lets Eragon walk to home all by himself.

Some Father You Are: 33

S Some Father You Are: 34

Yes, he will be called out on this eventually, but he will not do any better after that, so it falls quite flat to me.

Eragon manages to say goodbye, which the self-published edition awkwardly hyphenates—

S PPP: 443

—and hurries down the road. He is apparently “perturbed”. Not that he has managed to deduce that Brom knows he is a Rider, despite Brom going out of his way to look at the mark on his palm. He will only find out in chapter 14/15, several days later.

Ill Logic: 116

S Ill Logic: 134

Why Are We Doing This?: 30

S Why Are We Doing This?: 30

These last points because this is particularly bad. What other purpose could Brom have had? Is this supposed to build mystery? It fails very bad at that, I must say, and it only makes Eragon look bad.

Also, he is remarkably calm, given that he might just have been given away as a Rider.

Reaction, Please: 52

S Reaction, Please: 52

The chapter ends with Brom “whistling a merry tune.” After what he has just decided to do, I am more than a little peeved with that.

Anyway. What kind of chapter ending would this be… I will just put it under “Other Ending”.

Other Ending: 6

S Other Ending: 6

Now onto the questions:

What has happened in this chapter?: Eragon and Roran left for Carvahall, Roran has met with Dempton and probably left, Eragon has heard about the Ra’zac, he has sought them out, he got nearly caught, and Brom has found out that Eragon is a Rider.

What have we learned in this chapter?: Very little, really. There simply was very little in the way of information in this one.

How does this affect the characters?: It does not do so very much. Yes, Eragon does react to Roran leaving, and it is a good reaction, too, but when it comes to the Ra’zac and Brom discovering he is a Rider, he barely does so. Being mind-controlled only has him be shaken somewhat, and being uncovered as a Rider only merits being “perturbed”. Other than that, it does not exactly affect Eragon yet.

In general, I would say this chapter is decent. Roran leaving and Garrow’s parting speech are well-done, though they are marred because Garrow has abused them for years. The introduction of the Ra’zac is also decent, though their threat level, even within this chapter, is not exactly where the book wants us to think it is. My main complaint is that they should have been introduced somewhat earlier. The main problem I have, aside from the lack of reaction, is the sheer amount of contrivances in this chapter, and how simply they could be solved. For example, we could have had the Ra’zac following Eragon around, or Eragon telling Brom about them, and the end result could have been the same. Blegh.

Anyway, I will see you again in the next chapter. Until then!

 

		K	S
A Better Commando Name		10	10
All the Isms		7	7
Bullyay		29	30
	Murdered by the Convocation	6	7
	Perfection is Pure	3	3
Hell-Bound Partners		106	106
Ill Logic		116	134
Just Drink the Poison		0	0
Look Away		339	346
Manual Patch Job		46	47
No Touchy		4	4
No-Wave Feminism		56	62
Petty Ain’t the Word For You		60	68
RVMP		45	46
Some Father You Are		33	34
Some Teacher You Are		0	0
Sparkly Damsel		13	14
The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom		140	140
This is Fine		72	77
Use ‘Em As You Will		28	28
What Dragons?		248	248
Backpedal Lip Service		8	7
Dead Herrings		60	81
Drop It Like It’s Hot		33	33
Forgot the Narrator		15	18
Get to the Point Already		9	20
Just Gonna Stand There		3	6
Missing Puzzle Pieces		197	198
Paoclichés		13	16
PPP		397	443
	Forgot Your Own Canon Again?	81	101
Reaction, Please		52	52
Shine Bright Like a Diamond		5	5
Thanks for Explaining		3	14
The Power of Plot Compels You!		55	57
Write It, And Keep It		167	167
Why Are We Doing This?		30	30
Cliffhanger Chop		2	3
Mid-Scene Break		0	0
Other Ending		6	6
Protagonist Unconsciousness		2	2

 

 

 

Comments

[kalinara]

I admire your counts. I've never been able to keep track of such things when I review. Let alone trying to retroactively add them!

[pangolin20]

Thank you! I do worry that I might be overdoing it, but as long as I can keep track of them, I think it'll be fine.

Also... I would like to ask the people reading this if they could maybe comment more, because I don't get very much feedback in that way, and I'd really to know how I'm doing. And also, I just want to talk this over more.

No problem if you don't want to, of course, but I wouldn't mind, either.

[kalinara]

I don't think we're a very heavily trafficked blog, unfortunately (and sometimes fortunately :-D). But comments are definitely always welcome.

[pangolin20]

Yes, I do like the very small scale on here.