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i_read_whatSo last chapter, we actually met Sean. And much to my genuine shock, he's actually a really great guy. At least he seems to be.
I'm going to add a warning for this chapter. There's some pretty vicious pro-life rhetoric directed at a female character. This is not portrayed as a good thing, and is not done by any of the regular characters, but I suspect that it still could be triggering to a lot of people. Please be warned.
So we rejoin Keely, who has gotten Corin to take her to shore. He's pretty concerned about her well-being, but she insists that physically speaking anyway, she's suffered worse falling off various horses.
Corin says that Keely always says she's fine, even when she's not. And honestly, I'm not sure I agree with that characterization. I seem to recall Keely complaining a lot, but maybe not about her physical condition.
Anyway, Keely does manage to convince Corin to take her ashore by explaining that she needs to see an apothecary. This worries Corin, but Keely just explains that she's having trouble sleeping. She rejects alcohol as a solution, remembering how much of a bitch it felt to be hungover.
When Corin protests and suggests a litter, she basically tells him that she's going with him or without him. And so he goes along.
We're given a rough time frame now. It's been two years since she was last in Hondarth with Corin (her captivity by Strahan doesn't count.) Keely remembers watching Corin sail away and hating herself for her cowardice.
Don't hate yourself too much, Keely. I remember him promising to talk to Sean and Liam for you and doing no such thing. (I suppose it's possible that he's done so since then, but why ruin a good snarky moment with mitigating possibilities.)
As they head out, Keely asks if Corin misses Aileen.
Corin's smile was empty. "For you, that is tact. Why not ask what you mean to ask?"
Now there was no need; he had answered without meaning to. "Is that why you never came back?"
"Aye."
"And yet you come now."
He stared at the street as we walked, gone somewhere away from me. And then came back, quietly, but with an underlying passion that belied the casualness of his tone. "I cannot hide from it—or her— forever. Though we had never met, Sean sent word he was sailing to fetch you, and asked if I wanted to go. I thought it was time I did."
Sailing to fetch me, like a wandering cow. But I set it aside quickly enough, thinking of Corin instead. "They have a son."
"I know."
This is, of course, another unspoken element behind Keely's antagonism for Brennan. She is, I suppose you can say, a "shipper on deck" and can't really imagine Aileen being happy with a brother other than the one she'd initially fell in love with.
Keely also mentions that Aileen lost her twins and won't have anymore and this gets a rather unexpected response:
Corin caught my arm and steadied me over a fall of stone, which was unnecessary as well as unlike him; I thought it was the skirts. "Aye, so jehan said in his last letter. And since Aidan is sickly . . ." He shook his head. "It will make things precarious, until his health is secured." And then he laughed a little, in startled realization, and tightened his hand on my arm. "Except that Strahan is dead . . which means a sickly heir to the Lion need not be so worrisome anymore. The gods grant the boy's health improves, but if not, it makes the burden lighter." He laughed exultantly. "Gods, Keely—what you have done by ridding us of the Ihlini!"
"Only one," I muttered.
"The only one who matters."
IS Strahan the only one who matters?
But I do like Corin's joyous realization here. Strahan has plagued their family for literal generations. He captured the boys, tortured them, and nearly corrupted Corin. And now they know they're safe from him. It must be a relief.
But you know, when you think about it, when it comes to actually accomplishing their plans, the lady Ihlini have always been more effective than the men.
But it's also fair to note that Corin's reaction here is NOT wistful. And we get this too:
I turned to go in, but Corin caught my arm again and held me back. His eyes were very steady. "I meant to come," he said. "I swear, I did, for you. Gods, Keely, I missed you—but I was afraid to come . . . afraid to see her again, knowing there was still so much between us, and no hope for either of us . . ." He sighed and shook his head, letting go of my arm. "Brennan is better for her. He can give her more."
"That depends on what she wants." I touched his shoulder briefly. "Leijhana tu'sai, for coming. Especially now, with Sean."
Keely is, perhaps, projecting again. What does AILEEN want?
Because sure, Aileen loved Corin. But she also entered into the relationship with Brennan with pretty open eyes. It's true that, initially, given the choice, she'd have chosen Corin over Brennan. But then Corin chose honor over her. Would she make the same choice again?
I suppose it doesn't matter. Corin remembers what Keely had told him, about how she was afraid and needed more time. He'd known the two years wouldn't be enough, so he decided to come WITH Sean. Hoping she'd still need him, so he could have someone to tend to when Aileen, and Brennan, are near.
...I mean, that's both sweet and rather self-centered. But I suppose that's Corin in a nutshell.
Anyway, Keely goes in to the apothecary. And this is where things get ugly. And you know what? I don't see the need to quote this guy's bullshit.
Basically, Keely comes in claiming to be there for her mistress, looking for herbs to get rid of a child. The apothecary immediately assumes there was infidelity and decides that the woman deserves it for being "loose" and all sorts of bullshit.
Even when it comes out that it's Keely, even when it comes out that it's rape, the dude still is a jackass. We'll move on.
Keely does have an interesting moment of empathy here though:
And I recalled, even as I asked it, how I had challenged my own uncle to give me good reason for desiring to kill Rhiannon. Now this Homanan gave me much the same challenge, and I finally understood the shame, the anguish, the humiliation Ian felt for having sired Rhiannon.
Then, for some reason, she decides she sort of understands the shopkeeper. But still basically tells him to fuck himself. Go Keely.
She storms outside the shop to find Corin. But it's Sean instead. She asks how much he'd heard. He says just babble, but that she'd sounded angry. He offers to sing her to sleep if she's having trouble. And this is pretty cute as an exchange:
I nearly stopped dead in the street. "Sing?"
Sean grinned down at me, guiding me with elaborate consideration around a puddle of urine left by a passing horse. "You've heard nothing at all till you've heard the Prince of Erinn singing a lass to sleep."
I lifted brows. "And do you do it often?"
"I've not been celibate, lass. Nor will I lie about it." And then he laughed ruefully, pulling at an ear. "But you already know that, since Rory's told you the tale of how he near broke my head."
"And how many bastards do you have?"
He nearly missed a step. "D'ye dislike bastards, lass? D'ye think they're less than men?"
"Or women?" I laughed at his expression. "No, of course not... in the clans bastardy bears no stigma. For too long my race was very near extinction. Babies, regardless of parentage, were always warmly welcomed."
"Ah. Then you'll not be minding—"
"Oh, I might ... if any come after the wedding."
Fair enough.
Though, it might be nice if Keely would clue in on how she's been treating Maeve all along. Jealousy counts too.
Anyway, Sean is pleased because Keely has now said that there'll be a wedding. At least in theory. I'm pleased too, because the end of the last chapter had left it a little up in the air as to whether or not he realizes that she's pregnant and whether or not that would affect his position.
Happily, it does not seem to.
Though maybe he doesn't know, because things get a bit awkward here.
"Bastards," I muttered, thinking of my own.
Sean's face closed up. " 'Tis Rory, then, after all."
I looked at him in shock.
" 'Tis Rory, then," he repeated.
"Sean—"
"I love him," he said, "he's my brother. But there are things I cannot share."
Keely clears up the misunderstanding though.
I owed him something, Sean. And so I gave him the truth, albeit with difficulty. "Do you think, my lord of Erinn, that after what Strahan has done, I could ever lie down with a man?"
Realization altered his eyes.
"Bastard or trueborn, do you think it really matters?"
Sean said nothing at all.
I pushed open the tavern door. "What prince wants that sort of wife?"
He pulled it closed again. "I might, lass."
Oddly, it made me angry. "How can you? You are the Prince of Erinn, Liam's heir—any man in your position must take to wife a woman beyond reproach. A woman whose virginity is intact."
" Twasn't your choice that yours was lost, was it, lass?"
My face burned. "Of course not."
"Then how can I blame you?"
So yeah, Sean's still on board. Though he points out something that maybe Keely needed to hear all along. It's not his choice or hers. It's going to be up to their fathers.
Because that's the thing that's always been at the heart of Keely's issues with Brennan in this book. He's the stand in for Sean for most of it. (And actually as it turns out, a reasonably well-suited one.) She's lashed out at him because she sees herself in Aileen's role and sees him in Sean's and can't imagine Aileen feeling differently than she has.
But, Sean (and Brennan), didn't choose this either. MAYBE they'd have a little more power to rebel, being heirs to the throne and all. But maybe not. There are potential replacements after all.
Keely's bewildered by how such a "tall, strong man, powerful in spirit" could "so meekly turn his back on independence." People have different priorities, Keely. She asks if he'll do whatever Liam says, even if he disagrees.
Um, probably. Liam IS the king, Keely.
Sean just says he and Liam disagree on a lot. Sometimes he wins the argument and sometimes he loses. But he thinks this arrangement was done for the good of the lands.
He admits, it might make a difference if he were opposed to the match. But he's not.
I'm not really sure how I feel about this response:
I gritted teeth. "Then I will say again what I said before: after what Strahan did, do you think I could ever lie down with a man?"
Sean did not even hesitate. "Aye," he said, "you will. I'm not excusing what that beastie did, and I'm not saying 'tis a thing a woman forgets . . . but aye, you'll lie down with a man, because you're too much a woman not to."
It startled me. "Too much—?"
Sean pulled me aside from the door as someone stepped between us to enter the tavern. The door banged closed. "Too much," Sean repeated. "Oh, I know, men have told you you're too much a man, I don't doubt, because you've a liking for men's things. And no doubt they say 'tis what you'd rather be: a man in place of a woman." His mouth hooked wryly. "But I'm not a fool, Keely . . . I'm not a man for judging a woman's mettle by her liking for swords or if she favors trews over skirts. You're a braw, strong lass, full of spirit and pride and temper, and a need to be free of things such as duties required by rank." His hands were on my shoulders. "A bright and shining lass, gods-made for a man like me—" his hands tightened painfully, "—and for a man like him."
This is clumsily worded. I'm pretty sure that "a man like him" is a reference to Rory, not Strahan.
But...okay, I mean, this isn't a culture that seems to have much by way of rape counseling. I don't get the impression that Roberson intends to portray Keely as asexual, and while there is a subset on the ace spectrum for people who have, for lack of a better way to explain it, become effectively asexual due to trauma, (caedosexual is the term), I'm guessing she's not likely to go that route either.
Sean's impressed me enough so far though that I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I don't think he'll try to push Keely into a sexual relationship before she's ready, and I think he would respect it if she never was ready.
Anyway, the chapter ends here, with Keely having a lot to think about.
I'm going to add a warning for this chapter. There's some pretty vicious pro-life rhetoric directed at a female character. This is not portrayed as a good thing, and is not done by any of the regular characters, but I suspect that it still could be triggering to a lot of people. Please be warned.
So we rejoin Keely, who has gotten Corin to take her to shore. He's pretty concerned about her well-being, but she insists that physically speaking anyway, she's suffered worse falling off various horses.
Corin says that Keely always says she's fine, even when she's not. And honestly, I'm not sure I agree with that characterization. I seem to recall Keely complaining a lot, but maybe not about her physical condition.
Anyway, Keely does manage to convince Corin to take her ashore by explaining that she needs to see an apothecary. This worries Corin, but Keely just explains that she's having trouble sleeping. She rejects alcohol as a solution, remembering how much of a bitch it felt to be hungover.
When Corin protests and suggests a litter, she basically tells him that she's going with him or without him. And so he goes along.
We're given a rough time frame now. It's been two years since she was last in Hondarth with Corin (her captivity by Strahan doesn't count.) Keely remembers watching Corin sail away and hating herself for her cowardice.
Don't hate yourself too much, Keely. I remember him promising to talk to Sean and Liam for you and doing no such thing. (I suppose it's possible that he's done so since then, but why ruin a good snarky moment with mitigating possibilities.)
As they head out, Keely asks if Corin misses Aileen.
Corin's smile was empty. "For you, that is tact. Why not ask what you mean to ask?"
Now there was no need; he had answered without meaning to. "Is that why you never came back?"
"Aye."
"And yet you come now."
He stared at the street as we walked, gone somewhere away from me. And then came back, quietly, but with an underlying passion that belied the casualness of his tone. "I cannot hide from it—or her— forever. Though we had never met, Sean sent word he was sailing to fetch you, and asked if I wanted to go. I thought it was time I did."
Sailing to fetch me, like a wandering cow. But I set it aside quickly enough, thinking of Corin instead. "They have a son."
"I know."
This is, of course, another unspoken element behind Keely's antagonism for Brennan. She is, I suppose you can say, a "shipper on deck" and can't really imagine Aileen being happy with a brother other than the one she'd initially fell in love with.
Keely also mentions that Aileen lost her twins and won't have anymore and this gets a rather unexpected response:
Corin caught my arm and steadied me over a fall of stone, which was unnecessary as well as unlike him; I thought it was the skirts. "Aye, so jehan said in his last letter. And since Aidan is sickly . . ." He shook his head. "It will make things precarious, until his health is secured." And then he laughed a little, in startled realization, and tightened his hand on my arm. "Except that Strahan is dead . . which means a sickly heir to the Lion need not be so worrisome anymore. The gods grant the boy's health improves, but if not, it makes the burden lighter." He laughed exultantly. "Gods, Keely—what you have done by ridding us of the Ihlini!"
"Only one," I muttered.
"The only one who matters."
IS Strahan the only one who matters?
But I do like Corin's joyous realization here. Strahan has plagued their family for literal generations. He captured the boys, tortured them, and nearly corrupted Corin. And now they know they're safe from him. It must be a relief.
But you know, when you think about it, when it comes to actually accomplishing their plans, the lady Ihlini have always been more effective than the men.
But it's also fair to note that Corin's reaction here is NOT wistful. And we get this too:
I turned to go in, but Corin caught my arm again and held me back. His eyes were very steady. "I meant to come," he said. "I swear, I did, for you. Gods, Keely, I missed you—but I was afraid to come . . . afraid to see her again, knowing there was still so much between us, and no hope for either of us . . ." He sighed and shook his head, letting go of my arm. "Brennan is better for her. He can give her more."
"That depends on what she wants." I touched his shoulder briefly. "Leijhana tu'sai, for coming. Especially now, with Sean."
Keely is, perhaps, projecting again. What does AILEEN want?
Because sure, Aileen loved Corin. But she also entered into the relationship with Brennan with pretty open eyes. It's true that, initially, given the choice, she'd have chosen Corin over Brennan. But then Corin chose honor over her. Would she make the same choice again?
I suppose it doesn't matter. Corin remembers what Keely had told him, about how she was afraid and needed more time. He'd known the two years wouldn't be enough, so he decided to come WITH Sean. Hoping she'd still need him, so he could have someone to tend to when Aileen, and Brennan, are near.
...I mean, that's both sweet and rather self-centered. But I suppose that's Corin in a nutshell.
Anyway, Keely goes in to the apothecary. And this is where things get ugly. And you know what? I don't see the need to quote this guy's bullshit.
Basically, Keely comes in claiming to be there for her mistress, looking for herbs to get rid of a child. The apothecary immediately assumes there was infidelity and decides that the woman deserves it for being "loose" and all sorts of bullshit.
Even when it comes out that it's Keely, even when it comes out that it's rape, the dude still is a jackass. We'll move on.
Keely does have an interesting moment of empathy here though:
And I recalled, even as I asked it, how I had challenged my own uncle to give me good reason for desiring to kill Rhiannon. Now this Homanan gave me much the same challenge, and I finally understood the shame, the anguish, the humiliation Ian felt for having sired Rhiannon.
Then, for some reason, she decides she sort of understands the shopkeeper. But still basically tells him to fuck himself. Go Keely.
She storms outside the shop to find Corin. But it's Sean instead. She asks how much he'd heard. He says just babble, but that she'd sounded angry. He offers to sing her to sleep if she's having trouble. And this is pretty cute as an exchange:
I nearly stopped dead in the street. "Sing?"
Sean grinned down at me, guiding me with elaborate consideration around a puddle of urine left by a passing horse. "You've heard nothing at all till you've heard the Prince of Erinn singing a lass to sleep."
I lifted brows. "And do you do it often?"
"I've not been celibate, lass. Nor will I lie about it." And then he laughed ruefully, pulling at an ear. "But you already know that, since Rory's told you the tale of how he near broke my head."
"And how many bastards do you have?"
He nearly missed a step. "D'ye dislike bastards, lass? D'ye think they're less than men?"
"Or women?" I laughed at his expression. "No, of course not... in the clans bastardy bears no stigma. For too long my race was very near extinction. Babies, regardless of parentage, were always warmly welcomed."
"Ah. Then you'll not be minding—"
"Oh, I might ... if any come after the wedding."
Fair enough.
Though, it might be nice if Keely would clue in on how she's been treating Maeve all along. Jealousy counts too.
Anyway, Sean is pleased because Keely has now said that there'll be a wedding. At least in theory. I'm pleased too, because the end of the last chapter had left it a little up in the air as to whether or not he realizes that she's pregnant and whether or not that would affect his position.
Happily, it does not seem to.
Though maybe he doesn't know, because things get a bit awkward here.
"Bastards," I muttered, thinking of my own.
Sean's face closed up. " 'Tis Rory, then, after all."
I looked at him in shock.
" 'Tis Rory, then," he repeated.
"Sean—"
"I love him," he said, "he's my brother. But there are things I cannot share."
Keely clears up the misunderstanding though.
I owed him something, Sean. And so I gave him the truth, albeit with difficulty. "Do you think, my lord of Erinn, that after what Strahan has done, I could ever lie down with a man?"
Realization altered his eyes.
"Bastard or trueborn, do you think it really matters?"
Sean said nothing at all.
I pushed open the tavern door. "What prince wants that sort of wife?"
He pulled it closed again. "I might, lass."
Oddly, it made me angry. "How can you? You are the Prince of Erinn, Liam's heir—any man in your position must take to wife a woman beyond reproach. A woman whose virginity is intact."
" Twasn't your choice that yours was lost, was it, lass?"
My face burned. "Of course not."
"Then how can I blame you?"
So yeah, Sean's still on board. Though he points out something that maybe Keely needed to hear all along. It's not his choice or hers. It's going to be up to their fathers.
Because that's the thing that's always been at the heart of Keely's issues with Brennan in this book. He's the stand in for Sean for most of it. (And actually as it turns out, a reasonably well-suited one.) She's lashed out at him because she sees herself in Aileen's role and sees him in Sean's and can't imagine Aileen feeling differently than she has.
But, Sean (and Brennan), didn't choose this either. MAYBE they'd have a little more power to rebel, being heirs to the throne and all. But maybe not. There are potential replacements after all.
Keely's bewildered by how such a "tall, strong man, powerful in spirit" could "so meekly turn his back on independence." People have different priorities, Keely. She asks if he'll do whatever Liam says, even if he disagrees.
Um, probably. Liam IS the king, Keely.
Sean just says he and Liam disagree on a lot. Sometimes he wins the argument and sometimes he loses. But he thinks this arrangement was done for the good of the lands.
He admits, it might make a difference if he were opposed to the match. But he's not.
I'm not really sure how I feel about this response:
I gritted teeth. "Then I will say again what I said before: after what Strahan did, do you think I could ever lie down with a man?"
Sean did not even hesitate. "Aye," he said, "you will. I'm not excusing what that beastie did, and I'm not saying 'tis a thing a woman forgets . . . but aye, you'll lie down with a man, because you're too much a woman not to."
It startled me. "Too much—?"
Sean pulled me aside from the door as someone stepped between us to enter the tavern. The door banged closed. "Too much," Sean repeated. "Oh, I know, men have told you you're too much a man, I don't doubt, because you've a liking for men's things. And no doubt they say 'tis what you'd rather be: a man in place of a woman." His mouth hooked wryly. "But I'm not a fool, Keely . . . I'm not a man for judging a woman's mettle by her liking for swords or if she favors trews over skirts. You're a braw, strong lass, full of spirit and pride and temper, and a need to be free of things such as duties required by rank." His hands were on my shoulders. "A bright and shining lass, gods-made for a man like me—" his hands tightened painfully, "—and for a man like him."
This is clumsily worded. I'm pretty sure that "a man like him" is a reference to Rory, not Strahan.
But...okay, I mean, this isn't a culture that seems to have much by way of rape counseling. I don't get the impression that Roberson intends to portray Keely as asexual, and while there is a subset on the ace spectrum for people who have, for lack of a better way to explain it, become effectively asexual due to trauma, (caedosexual is the term), I'm guessing she's not likely to go that route either.
Sean's impressed me enough so far though that I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I don't think he'll try to push Keely into a sexual relationship before she's ready, and I think he would respect it if she never was ready.
Anyway, the chapter ends here, with Keely having a lot to think about.