Eragon: Chapter Twenty-Five: An Old Friend (Part IV)

[pangolin20]

Chapter Twenty-Five (Part III) | Table of Contents | Chapter Twenty-Six (Part I)

Kerlois: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Eragon! Last time, Eragon went to visit Saphira and got a whole lot of abuse for his trouble and that was about all that happened. For the reader post:

On part I of chapter 21, Alec notes that Eragon hoping that Saphira will “obey” in Daret could easily be fixed by changing that word to “listen”.

As for why Trevor might have left, they suggest that he “either got too old, got injured once too many times and got invalidated out, or [] served his time and decided he wanted to move on to other things”. I am inclined toward the last option.

Chessy gives us some further backstory on Umbrares’ family.

On part III of this chapter, Epistler notes that there should be soldiers on top of Teirm’s wall; a more thorough look tells me that they are there in Eldest, so Saphira rightly should have been spotted.

Ill Logic: 32

Further, while browsing through a deconstruction of The Belgariad, I found out where Brom’s “magic takes just as much energy as using your arms and back” comment comes from: it has been plagiarised from Queen of Sorcery. (For the full details, see this post.) That explains just how out of place it is; in The Belgariad, it makes sense, but it does not when transplanted into a context where magic takes considerably less energy.

I am also surprised that we seem to have been the very first people to find out about this, because of how blatant this is. Because of that reason, I am also not impressed with the plagiarism detection of the Knopf team; if they bothered to have Paolini change “Snowmane” everywhere, they could have found out about something this blatant. So…

PPP: 966 (+20)

Let me go on with the rest of the chapter, then! We left off with Eragon being told what “bibliophile” means and Brom and Jeod resuming their conversation. Eragon quickly gets bored (not that we know why) and looks at the shelves. He notes an “elegant book set with gold studs”, which he fetches from the shelf and looks at. I would be interested in it, too, though it is a bit too ostentatious for my taste. The book is “bound in black leather carved with mysterious runes”. Um, Eragon knows quite well that those runes are letters; after all, he has seen “parchment covered with angular runes” when visiting Brom back in chapter 6, and given the discussion just now, he should be able to deduce that this is the book’s title. I get that you want to have “mysterious runes”, but this is just a silly place for it.

Forgot Ignored the Narrator: 58

Eragon feels the cover, loving the “cool smoothness”, then looks inside, where the letters (see? He knows this!) are “printed with a reddish glossy ink”. Some poking around on the internet shows me that red(dish) ink can be made; a relatively likely example would be cochineal ink, made from the insect of the same name, which is also native to the Americas! “Glossy” ink is something I cannot find much on, and in my experience, it is not exactly a thing, either. I also do not see why whoever had this book printed would go to the trouble of using only red ink for the whole of it, unless it is some kind of vanity project, which… does not fit with the backstory of this book.

Did Not Do the Research: 108 (+2) (one for thinking that red ink would be viable for a common book; one for “glossy ink”)

Also… this book has been “printed”, so that implies that a version of the printing press is presumably in use! It also does fit with the amount of books that Jeod has here, and with mentions of “bookcases” in other places in the other books, but it is not something to simply imply! Well, Eragon browses through the book and then notes a “column of script, set off from the regular lettering”. The words in it are “long and flowing, full of graceful lines and sharp points”. Hmm, that reminds me of cursive script first of all, which I am not sure Paolini meant to do, but given what the usual runes look like, this makes sense as a comparison.

Eragon takes the book to Brom, and asks what the writing is. Brom is surprised to see the book and asks where Jeod got it, since he has not “seen one in ages”. Jeod identifies the book as “the Domia abr Wyrda”. He says that, some years ago, a man tried to sell this book to “a trader down by the wharves”. Fortunately, he was there and “was able to save the book, along with [the man’s] neck”. The man had no idea what it was.

Brom then says that it is odd that Eragon should pick this book, “the Dominance of Fate”, up. It is probably worth the most of any item in the house. It “details a complete history of Alagaësia—starting long before the elves landed here and ending a few decades ago”. It is “very rare and [] the best of its kind”. When it was written, “the Empire decried it as blasphemy and burned the author, Heslant the Monk”. He did not think “any copies still existed”. Then he answers Eragon’s question and says the writing he asked about comes from the ancient language.

Let me analyse this, then, and begin with the backstory we are given. It might fit in the actual Middle Ages, and “person gets burned at the stake for heresy” is certainly a trope… but that does not work when there is no organised religion! Calling someone a “monk” does not work, either, especially when we find out that the order Heslant belonged to is not based on Christianity. Further, the Empire is a state; it would not have the authority to have Heslant burned, because it is not a religious authority.

A Better Commando Name: 26 (for Heslant’s nickname; his main name is fine)

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 8 (for “monks”)

Did Not Do the Research: 109 (for thinking that a state would do this)

That aside, I do not quite see how Domia abr Wyrda would be “blasphemous”; Heslant does not take a mocking or irreverent tone toward religion in the extracts we see, after all. I think the word you are looking for is “heresy”, Paolini… or at least it should be if this were a religious question, which it is not.

Did Not Do the Research: 111 (+2)

Further, why would the Empire bother doing this? It is just a book full of pseudo-history; it could certainly spread some nasty ideas, and it does feed into the sentiments of the Varden, but given how laissez-faire the Empire has been shown to be, I highly doubt the government would bother to do anything about it.

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 9

This is a good example of why one should take context into consideration when importing elements, something that Paolini absolutely should learn. What works in medieval Europe will not necessarily work here, after all.

(For my part, I think that Heslant might have been killed by people angry about the lies in Domia abr Wyrda.)

Going ahead… I think Brom has forgotten about Surda, since someone might well have taken a copy to that country, especially if the Empire made such a show of persecuting Heslant. Once there, it could be reprinted freely, and so it would not be “very rare”, as actually turns out to be the case. I do not think this was thought through well.

Then Jeod is convinced that he saved the life of the man he got this book from… because Risthart has apparently decreed that anyone who has Domia abr Wyrda should be put to death? I highly doubt that would be the case, given what little we see of him. Further, Jeod apparently thought it was a good idea to have this book in his house when he thinks that others will be killed for having it. I… do not think that is great. In the end, though, it will not even be mentioned when Risthart puts pressure on him in Eldest, so this does not work, either.

PPP: 967

For the book itself… Brom’s translation agrees with the glossary, though there it has “(book)” appended to it, even though the translation is italicised. We can understand that italicisation refers to a book, Paolini.

PPP: 968

The title does fit with fate being thought of as inevitable in this series, but I hardly think it is appropriate to title a history book that (not to mention that I hardly like what it is implying), which is a good sign of the quality of its content. Even if had not read the extracts, I would already doubt it is “the best of its kind”. Brom is correct on what it covers, though.

Then… why does Brom think it is odd that Eragon picked this book? From what we saw, that was just because it is rather fancy.

I also note that it is called “the” Domia abr Wyrda and “the” Dominance of Fate, which feels like this book is supposed to be much more well-known than it actually is.

For the writing, that does fit with what we will learn in Eldest, though not entirely; that is something to keep in mind for then.

Overall, this is a mess. It is clearly mean, in large part, to show how evil the Empire is, but it fails because it simply does not fit the setting and because the Empire has not been shown to be so eager to persecute people. Domia abr Wyrda already does not sound like what it is supposed to be, either.

Either way, Eragon asks what the writing he asked about says. Brom reads it and says it is a part of an “elven poem” describing the war they waged on the dragons. The excerpt describes “Ceranthor”, one of their kings, as he rides into battle. Given that we learn that Queen Tarmunora was the elves’ monarch at the end of the war, I think it quite likely that Ceranthor died during it. He also might well have been the one to declare the war, so I cannot say I am sorry if he got killed.

The elves love the poem, Brom says, and “tell it regularly”, though three days are needed for that, so they “won’t repeat the mistakes of the past”. At times, they sing it So Beautifully that it seems “the very rocks will cry”. Excuse me if I do not entirely believe you, Brom. I do think more elves could stand to “tell” this poem, though, given that the “mistakes of the past” will certainly be repeated.

Eragon does not react much to this, instead returning to his chair with the book. He has some rather forced thoughts about how it is amazing that someone who is dead “can talk to people through these pages”, and that as long as the book survives, “his ideas live”. People passing their thoughts on after death is not that weird an occurrence, though; that is the case for old tales, for example, something that Eragon should be familiar with. Also, Heslant’s ideas live for as long as the people who have read Domia abr Wyrda live; after all, if the book were to be destroyed, that would not destroy the memories people have of it. Also, if all the copies had lain in a vault since being written, I doubt his ideas could be called “alive”. Then we get another “I wonder?” question.

PPP: 969

So Eragon wonders if the book has “any information about the Ra’zac”. The preface does mention them, but Heslant says he “cannot confirm or deny” their existence, and he calls them “foul and evil” and a “dark race”, so I am quite certain his information is so biased as to be useless. Still, Eragon ought to ask Brom or Jeod about it, at least.

Ill Logic: 33

He browses through the book while Brom and Jeod keep talking. After some hours, Eragon begins to get drowsy, and because of that, Jeod “bid[s] them good night”. He says the “butler” will show them their rooms. As they go upstairs, the servant (so why is he called “butler”, then?) explains that they can use a “bellpull next to the bed” if they need assistance. He stops at a “cluster of three doors”, bows and leaves.

HISC: In the original edition, Eragon goes into his room and quickly falls asleep. In this edition, in order to properly fix the scrying plothole, Paolini transplanted the entire conversation it is discussed in from “Of Reading and Plots”. I do not think that is a bad move per se, but Paolini did not carry it out very well. The stitch here is an example of that: in the original, Eragon knocks on the door of Brom’s room, Brom asks “irritably” what he wants, Eragon asks if he can talk to him, and Brom says he “just did”, but he can “come in anyway”. It is not great, but it makes sense.

Kerlois: The newer edition has Brom go into the room on the right and then gives us Eragon’s and Brom’s lines. That has some problems:

-Why would Eragon ask if he can talk to Brom when he has just spent hours in a situation where Brom obviously did not mind? He was also the one who wanted to go to sleep, while Brom did not give a sign that he wanted to stop. Of course Brom is willing to talk!

-Then we have Brom saying that Eragon “just did”. In the original context, it was an overly snarky line, but here it is just stating the obvious, since Eragon clearly did just talk to him when announcing that he wanted to sleep!

-We saw that Eragon was quite drowsy just now, but we will not be seeing any of that sleepiness during the next scene. That makes perfect sense when it is set a week from now, but it is not any more.

PPP: 972 (+3)

Well, Eragon closes the door and says Saphira and he had an idea. As soon as he starts explaining it, Brom silences him with a raised hand and pulls the curtains shut. He says that Eragon would do well “to make sure that no unwelcome ears are present” if he “talk[s] of such things”. Eragon apologises and “berate[s] himself for the slip”.

HISC: This is an example where copy-pasting into the new context actually improves things. In the original, we know they practice magic “with the curtains securely closed”, so this makes sense… but it makes Brom look quite bad for explaining this to Eragon, as if he would not understand this. Then Eragon berates himself for daring to forget this in a moment of enthusiasm, which is also not great.

In the newer edition, Brom has a good reason to explain it to Eragon, and his “slip” comes across more as a slip in keeping a low profile, which makes him berating himself over it more understandable.

Kerlois: This moment is still silly in the new edition, though. First, I do wonder how Brom thinks that closing the curtains will prevent “unwelcome ears” from listening in. Anyone who can see the window would be using magic to eavesdrop, and a curtain can be easily circumvented. Further, he does nothing to stop people from listening in at the door, which Helen and/or the butler might do. Casting an anti-eavesdropping spell might work better (and Brom saying this after not bothering to cover his conversation with Jeod up is not lost on me, either).

Ill Logic: 34

I am also not sure why Brom thinks this is such a high-priority thing. Yes, Eragon did just use Saphira’s name, but at this point, no one will have slipped into the corridor without being noticed, and I would think most eavesdroppers would pay most attention to what is said when the curtain is shut. Brom can also guess that they will be talking about magic after this, which is hardly some top secret stuff. It would make some people nervous and pull some attention to them if it were noticed, sure, but letting Eragon finish his question does not put them in that kind of danger.

Ill Logic: 35

Finally, I cannot help but see Eragon berating himself over something minor like this as a sign of ingrained abuse.

Abuse Count: 108

So Eragon asks if there is a way to “conjure up an image of something that you can’t see”. Brom explains that this is called “scrying”. It is certainly possible and “extremely helpful in some situations”, but it does have a “major drawback”: you can only see anything or anyone you have seen before. If Eragon were to scry the Ra’zac, for example, he could see them quite well, “but not their surroundings”. Yes, that is the case, but what is to stop you from gathering information about the light around who/what is scryed and showing that, in the same way an eye does? If you can see things you have never seen before with your eyes, or, more accurately, with cameras at a distance, why not with magic? (In fact, Brom’s teacher will turn out to have done this in Eldest.)

Brom then brings up another “problem”, with as example trying to view a page in a book you have already seen (like Domia abr Wyrda). You can only see the page if the book is open to it; else the page will “appear completely black”. So what is to stop one from simulating light shining on the page? It is quite possible to do that with a computer, after all, so I am positive magic would be able to do the same.

I think these limitations are mainly there to stop Eragon from just scrying the scrolls and be done with it, and not to make scrying too overpowered, but the only way they make sense as limitations is if no one puts any further thought to them. If Paolini wanted to keep Eragon from scrying the records, an anti-scrying spell on the records room would work much better. Also, the first restriction is circumvented in the next book, so it is quite pointless.

Eragon asks why you cannot view objects that you have not seen. He realises that, even with these silly limitations, scrying can be “very useful”. Its usefulness would be limited to checking in on people you know, though. He then has another “I wonder?” question.

PPP: 973

In this case, he wonders if he can scry something “leagues away” and use magic there. You should certainly be able to! After all, you will know what you are directing it at, though it will take quite a bit of energy if it is “leagues away”. Brom “patiently” explains why he cannot view such objects (how magnanimous!). He says it is because you need to know where to direct your magic at in order to scry. For example, even if a stranger were described to Eragon, it would still be “nigh impossible” to view them, “not to mention the ground and whatever else might be around [them]”. In short, you need to know what you are scrying before you can do it. He asks if that answers Eragon’s question.

It does, in part. Yes, it addresses why you cannot scry something or someone you do not know, but not why you supposedly cannot look at a person’s environment, presumably since that is just nonsense. Eragon does not say whether it answers his question; instead he asks how it is done, and if the image is conjured “in thin air”. Brom shakes his “white head” at that. I thought his hair was “silver, not white”? Then again, given that his beard and eyebrows are white, and we have several more references to his white hair, that earlier reference seems like the error.

PPP: 974

Brom says that making an image like that is not usually done, since it takes more energy than projecting it on “a reflective surface” like still water or a mirror (not that I think that energy requirements matter much in the case of scrying far away). Then he brings up that some Riders travelled everywhere they could, “trying to see as much as possible”. In the case of war or “some other calamity”, they would be able to see happenings throughout Alagaësia.

Why would only “some” Riders do this? Seeing what is going on throughout the whole land seems like a rather basic thing to be able to do! Then again, this is not very useful, as it does not give much context. To truly understand what is going on, you need to know what has happened, and scrying around is not guaranteed to give that.

Come to think of it, what was this actually supposed to accomplish? Yes, having people be able to scry certain locations quite quickly can come in handy, but what is even handier is having, say, a mirror set to display multiple locations. It would be even handier still to have a means to talk to people via sight and sound… which will actually be a thing later. This just feels like the setup to a communication system, that Paolini did not realise actually was one. (I see that Eldest also confirms such “sight and sound” scrying was actually a thing during the time of the Riders!)

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 10

Eragon asks if he can try it.

HISC: In the original edition, Brom refuses to let Eragon do it, on the basis that he will need his strength when they enter the castle. In the new edition, that would not work, so Paolini changed the explanation, along with some tightening up. Now, coming up with a good explanation for why Eragon needs to wait for a week is not easy to do, so I think he could have done best by having Eragon scry around locally as a test. What we get is this:

“No, not now. You’re tired, and scrying takes lots of strength. I will tell you the words, but you must promise not to attempt it tonight. And I’d rather you wait until we leave Teirm; I have more to teach you.”

Kerlois: First, it is good to see that Paolini remembered that Eragon should be tired… but his manner still does not back it up. Then, Brom’s reason for refusing seems to be “you are tired and because of that, scrying might take too much energy”. The problem with that, though, is that scrying does not seem to take enough energy to bring Eragon in danger even if he is tired; the worst that would happen is probably that he would fall asleep right here and now.

I can also kind of get Brom’s last point, except that I am sure he could introduce a break between reading and swordfighting to teach Eragon about scrying, especially since it is much easier than those. It just does not work, and I doubt it could be made to work.

Ill Logic: 35

Eragon smiles and promises he will wait until after Teirm. Brom then “very quietly” whispers the words “Draumr kópa” in Eragon’s ear. Going to the glossary… this is glossed as “dream stare”. That is interesting, since the words have little connection to actually scrying, and this will need to be brought up in Eldest.

PPP: 975 (erroneous comma before the words; “whispered” is not a dialogue tag here)

Eragon memorises the spell, and then brings up that he might scry Roran once they have left Teirm. He would like to know how he is doing, since he is afraid “the Ra’zac might go after him”. Ah yes, there is Roran again! We have last heard him mentioned… when Eragon was thinking about what he would do if he would abandon his quest, just before they found the Seithr oil. I almost get the impression that Paolini somewhat forgot about him, and now remembered and immediately put quite some focus on him. (And then he will forget all about him once we leave Teirm’s environs.)

So we now get into a discussion of how Galbatorix might react to Eragon. Brom says that the Ra’zac might well go after Roran (which he says is not to “frighten [Eragon]”). Though Roran was not there during the larger part of the time they were in Carvahall, he is sure that they “asked questions about him”. I am not so sure; they could have found out about Roran from questioning people… but no one was supposed to have said something, and with Sloan they only seemed to ask after Eragon. I further do not think they would have seen Roran… though they might have done so after Brom appeared. Whatever the case may be, I am not sure. Brom then floats the idea that they might have met him in Therinsford, which will turn out not to have been the case.

Either way, he doubts “their curiosity is sated”. After all, Eragon is “on the loose”, and Galbatorix is probably “threatening them with terrible punishment” if he is not found. If they get “frustrated enough”, they will go back to find Roran, and it is “only a matter of time”. Let me see what is going on here…

First, I doubt that they care all that much about finding Eragon; after all, they have spent several weeks running away from him! If they were serious about catching him, they could have turned around at any point between Carvahall and they place they were picked up, but they did not! So I highly doubt that “it is only a matter of time” before they would interrogate Roran; they have not been serious about it at any point before now, so why begin now?

Ill Logic: 36

Then Galbatorix is supposedly threatening them with “terrible punishment”, which just makes me wonder why the Ra’zac would not just threaten to leave Galbatorix’s service in return. They do not strike me as particularly committed, and threatening to hurt them horribly over what could be an honest mistake would not improve their commitment.

Ill Logic: 37

Further… why would Galbatorix put so much faith in the Ra’zac? They can only be in one place, after all, while calling on the governors of the cities can turn up much more about Eragon. …Oh, it is because he wants to keep it a “secret” that he is hunting Eragon, is it not?

History-Rewriting Narrator: 5

Finally, I doubt they would go back to interrogate Roran. They have deliberately led Eragon on a chase, after all (and I think that might be the reason why they waited so long to be picked up), so they might expect him to find out that they live in Dras-Leona and come there to get them. Once he does, they could easily marshal the city’s resources to capture Eragon, Saphira and Brom. Sure, they might go after Roran, but only if this plan fails.

Ill Logic: 38

It really feels like Paolini reasoned his way to why the Ra’zac would go after Roran, without bothering to think whether it makes sense, and so it does not at all.

This edition then removes Eragon’s upset at this and goes straight to him saying that the only way to keep Roran safe is to let the Ra’zac know where he is, so they will get him instead. That is a decent conclusion; after all, they would hardly waste their time doing anything else when they could get Eragon at once. Beyond that, Galbatorix might send more people after Roran, sure, and those might be the Ra’zac, but if Eragon would go along with everything asked of him, Roran would not be harmed. The question only is if Eragon is willing to do that.

Brom immediately tells Eragon off, saying that will not work either, that Eragon is “not thinking”, and how can he expect to anticipate his enemies if he cannot understand them? I very much am thinking, Brom, quite unlike you, and I am sure I understand the Ra’zac better than you have ever done or ever will. If you want to insult me, come up with a reason for it. And yes, it is only directed to Eragon, but he is indirectly telling everyone who thinks like him that they are not thinking… which I do not appreciate. Regardless, I would very much like to see just why he thinks that my reasoning is “not thinking”.

He then asserts that, even if Eragon exposed his location, the Ra’zac would still chase Roran and asks Eragon if he knows why. I cannot come up with any reason myself, especially since Brom thinks they will get “frustrated” the longer Eragon evades their grasp; surely completely ignoring him does not fit that at all?

Abuse Count: 109 (for Brom’s manner here)

Ill Logic: 39

Eragon then tries to “consider every possibility”. He first considers the option if him “stay[ing] in hiding long enough”… which he is not exactly doing right now and which he does not plan to keep doing either (since killing the Ra’zac will blow his cover). In that case, they might get “frustrated” (and I have already explained why that does not work) and catch Roran “to force [him] to reveal [him]self”.That might work, as long as the spread the message that they have caught him far and wide; capturing Roran without Eragon knowing it will lead to little, after all.

If that tactic does not work, Eragon says, they would “kill [Roran] just to hurt him”. Assuming the message got to Eragon… I am sure that would push him over the edge into outright hatred of the Empire and would probably lead him to join the Varden, which would get Galbatorix a lot of easily-avoidable trouble.

Ill Logic: 40

If he becomes a “public enemy of the Empire”, they might use him “as bait to catch [him]”… which is quite true. Finally, if he met Roran (to tell him about his danger, I think?) and they found about it, they would torture Roran “to find out where [Eragon is]”, which they would gain no useful information from, especially if Eragon did not tell Roran. I could see them to do it, but it would not help much.

I do note that Eragon did not address the possibility of him and Saphira fleeing Alagaësia; if they stayed away, Roran would probably not be hurt (after all, what is the point of it when they are gone?), though Carvahall might be watched in case of Eragon’s return.

Another thing that Eragon does not address is the question Brom just asked! Brom’s reaction to all of this is “Very good. You figured that out quite nicely”. Eragon did not figure out what you said at all, though!

Ill Logic: 41

I almost suspect this is because of a change in an edition before the self-published one, but I cannot quite prove it. Eragon then asks what the “solution” to this is, as he cannot let Roran get killed. I understand that you are upset, Eragon, but you do realise that the scenarios you just gave mostly do not involve Roran getting killed? He is worth considerably more alive than dead, because if he is alive, he can be used to pressure you.

Ill Logic: 42

Brom says that the “solution” is “quite obvious”: Roran will need to learn “how to defend himself”. That may sound hard-hearted, he says, but, as Eragon pointed out, he cannot risk meeting Roran. …Why is that relevant? If Roran went back after that meeting, I can only think that Eragon would tell him to be careful, which he already knows. If he does not go back… there is nothing stopping him from having Eragon pick him up and bringing him to a safe place. It would be dangerous and Roran might not want it, but that would be a more complete solution than that which Brom gives us.

He then brings up that he told Eragon about leaving a “warning letter” for Roran so he will not be “totally unprepared for danger”. I do remember that. Brom also says that Eragon might not remember it, since he was “half delirious” at the time. Let me see… that was just before they set off for the farm, and Eragon was lucid enough to bring up leaving a message for Roran and to keep himself from questioning Saphira… so Brom is definitely bending the truth here. After all, if Eragon was delirious then, he can ignore that Eragon called him out for him getting Garrow killed. Truly, this is the “wise mentor” we should all want.

He finishes by saying that if Roran has “any sense at all”, he will flee once the Ra’zac go to Carvahall again. Let us see how that will turn out, then… Eragon says “unhappily” that he does not like this (top-tier writing), Brom says that he forgets something, Eragon wants to know what it is, and Brom says there is “some good in all of this”. After all, Galbatorix cannot afford to have a Rider around that he does not control. He is the only known one alive, but he would like to have another one, so before he tries killing Eragon or Roran, he will offer Eragon “the chance to serve him”. Yes, thank you for spelling all of that out for us; after all, there is no way we could have deduced this ourselves.

Brom then says that if Galbatorix “ever gets close enough to make that proposition”, it will be “far too late” to refuse and live. I… doubt that Galbatorix would be content to let Eragon die. He has the means to make Eragon serve him even against his will, so why would he not do so? Also, Brom makes it sound like Galbatorix would personally extend this offer, which seems both foolish and quite out of character for Galbatorix. It would be more accurate to say “if he formally extends the offer, it is too late to refuse”.

Ill Logic: 44 (+2)

Eragon does not think that “some good”. Brom explains that this is “all that’s protecting Roran”, since, as long as Eragon does not choose a side, he will not risk “alienating [Eragon]” by harming Roran, which Eragon should keep “firmly in mind”. Yes, that does track. The Ra’zac killed Garrow, but he thinks it was “an ill-considered decision on their part” (which I have no doubt it was). From what he knows of Galbatorix, he would only have approved it if he “gained something from it”.

Eragon then asks “sharply” how he will be able to deny Galbatorix’s wishes when he is threatening Eragon with death. This… does not exactly follow from what came before. It is also a somewhat silly question: if Galbatorix will kill you if you deny his wishes, then denying his wishes means you will deny them forever, as Galbatorix has not found out how to raise the dead. A better question might be to ask how he can deny Galbatorix trying to make him serve him at all.

Brom sighs and puts his fingers in a “basin of rose water” (luxurious!) that stands on the nightstand. He says that Galbatorix wants Eragon’s “willing cooperation”, since without it, he is “worse than useless” to Galbatorix. He certainly could keep Eragon under control, though, especially since he is good at breaking into people’s minds. Further, using Roran’s death as punishment as a threat to Eragon might help, too. It would be hard to maintain in the long term, but Eragon would hardly be “worse than useless”.

Ill Logic: 45

Brom then spells out that dying is the “only way [Eragon] will deny [Galbatorix]” if he ever has to choose. If Galbatorix is a bit smart about it, he would not let Eragon die, though, so the question should rather be “how do I avoid such a situation?”. We are told the question hangs in the air.

HISC: This edition deletes Eragon’s distress at the question, which does serve to let Brom’s statement have more impact.

Kerlois: Brom then says it is a “difficult question” and you can only answer it once you are faced with it (really now?). Eragon needs to keep in mind that dying for your beliefs is quite common, but the “real courage is in living and suffering for what you believe”. That is all well and good, but if Galbatorix sets his mind to recruiting Eragon, this will not be an option for him, and that is not caused by any “cowardice” on Eragon’s part, but only to unfortunate conditions. You would do well to keep in mind, Brom, to dying for what you believe is not always caused by people “giving up”; sometimes it genuinely is the best choice they see. Combined with the “suffering” bit, I genuinely get the impression that he implicitly equates suicide with cowardice, which is terrible advice to give Eragon and an awful mindset to have.

Abuse Count: 110

This edition then removes everything after this point, partially because it does not fit any more, and presumably partially to make this chapter end on this line, which it indeed does. I still find it in quite poor taste.

Mid-Scene Break: 5

With that, we are done with the longest chapter of this book! Let me see what happened in it:

-Angela’s introduction.

-Jeod’s introduction.

-Jeod and Brom talking about their involvement in the Varden and the attacks they experience.

-Jeod talking about how Helen sucks.

-Eating in a tavern.

-Saphira teaching Eragon a lesson.

-Saphira talking about scrying and needing to stay here.

-Eragon needing to learn to read.

-Domia abr Wyrda.

-Scrying.

-Discussion of what might happen to Roran and what Galbatorix wants with Eragon.

This is quite a bit, and I do see why this chapter ended up as long as it did. The problem, though, is that this is all too much and too diverse for a single chapter. Consequently, most of these elements do not get the room to breathe, and it does not feel like it is about anything in particular. In order to fix it, I would have either spread these elements out over the next few chapters or outright deleted some of them.

The execution of what elements we do get focus on is not great, either. The conversation Eragon listens in on is fine, but it just makes me wish we could focus on the Varden instead of being stuck “going after the Ra’zac”, meeting Saphira just turns into abuse yet again, and the ending conversation makes no sense at all. Overall, it is all too incoherent and too much for me to like it. The next chapter will be better about that, at least. Until then!

A Better Commando Name	26
A Murder In Your Future	2
Abuse Count	110
All the Isms	17
Cardboard Worldbuilding	10
Did Not Do The Research	109
Edgy Equals Mature, Right?	9
For the Good of the Cause	34
Forgot the Narrator	58
FYRP	63
Give Me a Piece of Your Mind	4
History-Rewriting Narrator	5
Ill Logic	45
IYES	28
Like Coins Bounced Off a Drum	4
Morals for Thee But Not for Me	33
No-Wave Feminism	70
No Touchy	9
Olympic Finals in Conclusion Leaping	18
Petty Ain’t the Word for You	77
PPP	975
Space-Time Hairball	15
Thou Art Well Come	5
Cliffhanger Chop	2
Mid-Scene Break	5
Other Ending	9
Protagonist Unconsciousness	9
Single-Purpose Chapter	7