Eragon: Chapter Twelve: Deathwatch (Part III)

[pangolin20]

Chapter Twelve (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Thirteen

Corneille Noire: Welcome back to Eragon, everyone! Last time, Eragon visited Garrow, and nothing much happened. Now for the reader post.

On part II of chapter 3:

-Tris and Chessy note that the Urgal horns in the tavern are certainly fake.

-Chessy points out that the skinny merchant likely has goiter, and the fat merchant probably has health problems, too. Yes, thank you so much, Paolini.

-She also points out that the Empire cannot well be called an empire, and Kerlois suggests the name “Verdant Kingdom” for it. Consequently, I will do this:

A Better Commando Name: 11

-She also notes that raiding is a perfectly valid technique for the Varden to use.

On part III of chapter 3:

-Chessy points out a problem with Brom’s story: “This whole thing sounds like a legend told to Brom by his granny, not something he lived through.”

-Also, she has guessed that Brom is a Rider. Kerlois already revealed that in chapter 6, but I think it is still worth mentioning.

-Kerlois also realised that a Rider/dragon pair was missing from the list of Forsworn, and came up with the pair Stenn/Skulnen to fill them out.

-They have also come up with this summary of how Galbatorix’s fight might have gone:

“-The Riders kill both of the other Riders and their dragons.
-This alerts Galbatorix and Jarnunvösk, who immediately fight back.
-Jarnunvösk kills the greater part of the attackers, though she is wounded quite severely.
-Galbatorix kills the rest.
-Then, Jarnunvösk dies.”
-Tris mentioned that it would be more likely if Galbatorix had befriended Shruikan, which has led Kerlois to deduce that Shruikan, given his size, might well be older than Galbatorix.
Manual Patch Job: 59
-They also mention that “the Forsworn” makes no sense, “unless they were forced to swear oaths to the Riders, and we know they only allow oaths in the Ancient Language so they're nigh impossible to break.”

A Better Commando Name: 12

On part II of chapter 12:

Epistler points out that Eragon truly should not be getting this many food. Indeed, I do not see how Eragon manages not to vomit it all up.

This Cannot Be: 25

Now I would like to add some things myself:

-A point for This Cannot Be for Saphira sitting on Eragon’s bedpost:

This Cannot Be: 26

-A point for Forgot the Narrator for Eragon using “folks” in chapter 3, as the rest of the series will never use that:

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 24

-I would like to rename Backpedal Lip Service to Read the Discussion Boards.

-I see that Scales has misjudged the scale of the map. Going by the length of a journey that takes place later in this book, they note the north-south distance as 408,2243 miles (656,9733 kilometres), and the east-west distance as 608,9904 miles (980,075 miles). That means the map covers an area of 248604,68 square miles (643883,17 km²), which is about as large as France. Let me adjust the corresponding measurements, too, then.

· The map covers (643883,17/510072000) × 100% ≈ 0,126% of the planet it is on, or about an 800^th part.

· Measuring a bit learns me that Farthen Dûr is approximately 13,74% of the way up from the southern edge of the map.

· That means that it lies (0,1374 × 656,9733) ≈ 90,24 kilometres north of the southern edge, and ((1-0,1374) × 656,9733) ≈ 566,73 kilometres south of the northern edge.

· We can then use the formula θ = (180L / πr) for both cases. That gives θ ≈ 0,812° ≈ 48′ 69″ and θ ≈ 5,097° ≈ 5°5′80″, respectively.

· If we assume that Farthen Dûr lies on the Tropic of Cancer, and that lies at 23°26′, then the southern edge of the map lies at 22°37′31″, and the northern edge at 28°31′80″.

· Now for Carvahall. Looking at the map, Carvahall is 344 of 2684 pixels down, so that is… (0,128 × 656,9733) ≈ 84,202 kilometres south of the northern edge. Putting that in the formula gives θ ≈ 0,757° ≈ 45′43″. So Carvahall lies at approximately 27°46′37″.

· This means that the length of the day on Carvahall would be 11 hours and 5 minutes (ignoring the mountains).

· (And, since Kerlois used the old measurements in reply to Chessy, let me correct that, too. The shortest distance between Vroengard and the mainland is approximately 51,633 kilometres. So from Narda, things of 210 metres in height should be visible at that distance. Consequently, I think the eastern part of Vroengard would be visible from Narda, though not in much detail.)

 

With that out of the way, let me resume with the last part of this chapter!

When we last left off, Horst had just asked Eragon what has exactly happened. Eragon says he does not really remember. Horst then says that he was one of the people who went out to the farm. They saw that it did not “just fall apart”, but “something tore it to pieces”. Hmmm, I think Horst might mean an explosion, but I get the idea that he means some kind of being tore it apart, which is… not unreasonable. He says that around the farm were “tracks of a gigantic beast [he’s] never seen nor heard of before.” So… does he not know what the tracks of a dragon would look like? I mean, it is possible, but it still feels off, especially since the Riders were still there a hundred years ago.

He says others saw the tracks, too. And if there is “a Shade or a monster” roaming around, they have to know, and Eragon is the only one who can tell them. I wonder why Horst notes a Shade as a possibility here. Yes, they are dangerous and all, but we have not heard stories about them, so it feels more like clumsy “foreshadowing” of Durza’s later role in the plot.

In the Knopf edition, Eragon decides he has to lie. In the self-published edition, he thinks somewhat longer over it.

He considers the situation. He knows he has to lie, but if he is not careful, “Saphira [will] be discovered.” They have already seen her footprints, and they might just realise that there is a dragon around. Then we shift to direct thoughts, as Eragon says that Horst knows the Ra’zac were after “the stone”, so “[he] can safely blame them.” Two questions here: why does Eragon refer to the egg as “the stone” in his internal narration, and why does he say he can “safely blame them”? That makes it sound as if they have not really blown up the farm, and he is using them as scapegoats.

Well, he says that the problem is that no one will believe the Ra’zac blew up the farm to get at “the stone”, not unless it is very valuable. Then you could just say it was probably a magical artifact. This is truly not so hard. He wonders what else he can say, and says that they “must suspect who did it.” That is reasonable, though who else do you think they would suspect, Eragon? Why would, and could, anyone but the Ra’zac do this?

The Knopf edition thankfully deletes all of this. In both editions, Eragon goes to tell his story. He begins to say that when he left Carvahall… and here he takes the time to count up the days. Even though he knew earlier in this chapter that it has been four days. So has he somehow forgotten in the meantime? This is strange.

Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 86

Anyway, when he left Carvahall, there were strangers who were asking about a stone. Eragon gestures at Horst, and he says Horst warned him, and so he hurried home. Well, there is the first lie. Not that I think it matters all that much; yes, going to the Ra’zac was foolish, but they would probably still have tortured Garrow.

Eragon notes that everyone is looking at him. He continues that nothing happened that night. The next day, once he “finished his chore[s]”, he went “walking in the forest”. Soon, he heard an explosion, and he saw smoke. He ran back as fast as he could, but “whoever did it” (who could it be but the strangers?) was already gone. He dug through the wreckage and found Garrow.

It is a good cover story. I cannot find any major holes in it, and it makes sense. Albriech then asks if Eragon put Garrow on the plank and dragged him back. Ah, this will be a bit harder to fully cover up for.

Eragon says that he did, but before he left, he looked at the path, and there he saw two tracks, “both of them men” (which the Knopf edition amends to “men’s”). The self-published edition adds that they went in the house and then “left they way they’d come”. And yes, these typos did make it into the self-published edition, which makes me think it was not proofread very thoroughly.

Also, you still do not know they are both men, Eragon.

No-Wave Feminism: 58

He digs in his pocket and pulls out the piece of clothing, saying that Garrow had it clenched in his hand, and it matches the Ra’zac’s clothing. Then he “set[s] it on the table.” I am fairly certain that should be “put”, as “set” is generally used for rigid things.

PPP: 452

Horst says it does, looking “both thoughtful and angry”. Then he asks after Eragon’s legs. Eragon say he is not sure. He says he thinks it happens while he dug Garrow out, but he is not sure. He only noticed it when “the blood started dripping down his legs.” Yes, very plausible. Oh, the part about him not noticing is not exactly improbable, especially since that is exactly what happened, but he truly should have a better idea of what exactly hurt him by now. And he ought to have come up with a better answer than this for his cover story, too.

Well, the “I noticed blood dripping down my legs” bit is effective for now, as Elain says that it is horrible. Albriech speaks up “hotly”, saying they should pursue the strangers. Outraged, he says that they cannot “get away with this”, and if they get a pair of horses they could catch them the next day and bring them back.

Horst tells him to put that out of his head, as they could likely “pick [him] up like a baby and throw [him] in a tree.” That is assuming they would not outright kill him first, of course. He brings up the house to show they should not “get in the way of those people”. He also says they have what they want now. He asks Eragon if they took the stone, Eragon says it was not in the house, and Horst says they do not have a reason to come back, then. He finally asks Eragon about the tracks, but Eragon says he did not see them when he was there.

Horst is good and thorough at questioning Eragon, I have to say. And now things will get weird for some time.

Baldor speaks up, saying that he does not like it, as “[t]oo much of this rings of wizardry.” Not because Garrow has been tortured, mind, only because it seems like wizardry. Come to think of it, Albriech just wanted to chase the Ra’zac only because of how they have harmed Eragon, and not because of what they did to Garrow. They really should be reacting more to that.

Reaction, Please: 73

Baldor asks who the strangers are, and comes up with them being “Shades”. This is what I meant about this being clumsy foreshadowing. Why would he think they are Shades? Would he not know what Shades are like from stories? Also, if they truly were Shades, would they not have torn the whole of Carvahall apart? Baldor should have guessed they are not Shades, and this feels more like an announcement that Durza will certainly be present later on.

Baldor then asks why they wanted the stone, and how they could have destroyed the house “except with dark powers”. Well, maybe by using explosives, or by accidentally lighting flammable vapours? Not every bad thing has to be done with magic.

Ill Logic: 140

It is interesting, though, to see the first example of the anti-magic attitude in this series…

Then Baldor says that Horst might be right, that the stone might be all they wanted, “but [he] think[s] that [they] will see them again.” Ah, good to see more clumsy foreshadowing, because of course they will be back. And that will be something, alright.

PPP: 453

Well, everyone is silent at this. And here the two editions diverge considerably. I will do the self-published one first. Horst “stir[s] uneasily”, and then Albriech complains that Baldor is always “predicting doom and whatnot.” Every time the Anora has a higher water level than usual in spring, he tells “everyone to expect flooding”, and if a couple of dead fish are found, “[he thinks] the river’s been poisoned.” Not that we will see this in later books, to the extent of my knowledge, and certainly not like Albriech is saying here. Also, we do not have any context for this. Why should we care if Baldor is being overly alarmistic sometimes?

Albriech then says that “Every incident isn’t an evil omen.” Albriech, the Ra’zac blew up Eragon’s farm and tortured Garrow! That is not in the same league as “the Anora has a higher level” or “a few dead fish”! The Ra’zac have shown they have no qualms about murdering people, and that is not “an evil omen”, it is a very real and present danger! And it is also not very unreasonable to think that they might be back later on! Like, what is he going on about?!

Ahem. Baldor, of course, does not note any of the above points, instead saying that Albriech exaggerates, which he does. Albriech then “answer[s] sharply”, and they begin arguing. I have to say I am very irritated by Albriech’s behaviour here, because he simply is in the wrong, and he has no business being this sharp with Baldor. Also, treating what the Ra’zac have done as “an incident” is quite rude to Eragon, who is also sitting right there, by the way. It is also somewhat strange for him to do this. Yes, we do have a later example of Albriech picking a fight, but I cannot imagine him being so insensitive to Eragon.

Eragon ignores them, as he is thinking. He says that “[s]omething [has] been overlooked”, though he is not certain what. Then he knows it, and he voices his suspicion. And that is that “Roran doesn’t know”. Well, it takes a little time before anyone notices what he said, but when they do, they are completely silent. And Horst reacts like this: “Horst shook his head. “No, I guess he wouldn’t.”

Yes, they apparently literally did not think that Roran might need to be told about his father nearly being dead and Eragon being severely wounded. And Horst’s reaction is just “I guess he wouldn’t”. This… well, the book’s reality is truly falling to pieces in this edition.

Horst explains that Roran and Dempton left soon after Eragon did, and unless they had difficulty, they would have “been in Therinsford for a couple of days now.” Well, he certainly does not seem bothered by not having thought about this at all. *shakes head*

Eragon drops his face in his hand, wondering how he “could [] have forgotten about him.” Well, I think I can explain that, Eragon:

-First, you were to busy with trying to stay alive and keeping Garrow alive.

-Then, you were unconscious for two days.

-Finally, you have been too occupied with Garrow for the time being.

Yes, he might have thought about this earlier, but then again, Horst, Elain, Albriech, Baldor, Katrina, or Gertrude could have thought of this, too! And they were not unconscious for two days! It is just so plainly ridiculous that none of them would have thought to do this!

On the other hand, I can certainly see why Eragon feels like this. However unreasonable it might be to expect it from himself, it of course does not stop him. I also find it somewhat funny that Eragon now thinks that Roran needs to be told, while he will completely forget about him later on.

Well, Eragon says that Roran needs to be told, so someone has to go to Therinsford and bring him back. Albriech offers to go. Horst looks at him, and says that both Albriech and Baldor should go. He tells them to “[g]et the horses ready” and get whatever they need. Albriech says they will leave immediately as he leaves the room. Baldor promises that he will “break it to [Roran] gently”, before he leaves, too.

Horst pushes back his chair, and he says he would better “help them get ready.” He asks Elain to wrap food for their trip, and to make sure that there is enough for Roran, too. She promises she will do it immediately as he walks away. Well, that was the self-published edition on this, and it was quite a mess. Let us see how the Knopf edition fares.

As in the other edition, silence follows Baldor’s declaration. No one is arguing, though, and we go directly to Eragon realising that Roran has to be told. In this edition, he wonders now how he could have forgotten Roran.

Horst shakes his head, and says that they left just after Eragon did, so they have been in Therinsford for a while now. Then he says this: “We were going to send a message, but the weather was too cold yesterday and the day before.”

Yes, it is an obvious patch, but it is much better than what we had before, so I will take it. Albriech then says that he and Baldor were “about to leave when [Eragon] woke up”. So then why did you wait until now to leave?! If you wanted to see him, you could have gone over to Gertrude! There is no reason for you to delay!

Ill Logic: 145 (+5)

It is not as bad as the original, but it is still ridiculous. Horst tells them to go on, and says he will help them with the saddles. Baldor tells Eragon he will be gentle with Roran, and then walks out, along with Albriech and Horst.

Well, that was a reasonably good patch. Paolini can fix his errors, if he wants to.

In both editions, Eragon looks at the table, “his eyes focused on a knot in the wood.” He describes every detail he can see: “the twisting grain, an asymmetrical bump, three little ridges with a fleck of color.” The self-published edition uses a comma to introduce this list, which does not flow very well.

He says the knot has “endless detail”, and the closer he looks, the more he sees. He searches for answers in it, but he cannot find any. I do not have much to say here; it is simply a nice look at how the situation affects Eragon, and a quite reasonable reaction to what has happened, for once.

And now, things get silly again. A “faint call” breaks through his thoughts. He says it sounds like “yelling from outside”, and so he ignores it, thinking that someone else should deal with it. Several minutes later, he hears it again, even louder. He gets angry, and “block[s] it out.” I think that might indicate that it is mental, but then again, he certainly cannot think clearly at the moment.

He wonders why “they” cannot be quiet, as Garrow “[is] resting”. Well, I would not say that he is exactly “resting”, and I doubt that screaming would exactly trouble him now. Also, do I spy the first use of singular “they” in this series?

He looks at Elain, but she is not bothered by all the noise. Curious and curiouser. Then, Saphira roars his name in his head, in all caps. Eragon nearly falls out of his chair, and he looks around, but nothing has changed. “He suddenly realized that the shouts had been inside his head.”

What a reveal! I have no trouble with Eragon not realising this, but it does feel to me as if Paolini expects us to be actually surprised by this, and that is more than a little silly.

PPP: 454

He asks “anxiously” if it is Saphira, and he gets this response: “There was a pause. Yes, stone ears.”

Saphira, Eragon has not been deliberately ignoring you, and he is not in a very good state mentally due to Garrow’s death. Also, you are in no particular haste to contact him. Could you maybe give him a little leeway? Even more, you should know what it is like to have someone persistently try to contact you while you are busy occupied with something else, and then have someone yell at you. Yes, this is much less bad than what Eragon did to her, but it is still very inconsiderate.

Hell-Bound Partners: 167

Well, there goes her first point.

I would also like to note that her mental shout nearly made him fall from his chair. What if Eragon was, say, busy helping Garrow (which would also explain why he blocked her out; he needs to pay attention), and she shouted in his mind then? What if he dropped Garrow on the floor because of that? Or he might be using the stairs, which he needs to pay attention to because he is very weak. Given that he nearly dropped out of his chair now, I could easily see him falling off the stairs.

But of course, being heard at all costs is more important to her than possibly causing Eragon severe injury. And this will never be brought up.

Hell-Bound Partners: 172 (+5)

Look Away: 349

Anyway. At this, “[r]elief seep[s] into him”, and he asks where Saphira is.

Paoclichés: 18

She shows him “a small clump of trees”, which notably does not tell him where she is. She says she tried to contact him many times, “but [he was] beyond reach.” Eragon says he was sick, but now his better. (Not that he mentions that he was unconscious for two days, because why bother explaining that.) Then he asks why he could not sense her earlier. Saphira answers that, “[a]fter two nights of waiting”, she had to hunt.

So let me see… She completed three quite hard flights, the first one while being constantly terrified, without eating anything in between, and after that, she waited a day and a half to eat anything? Why did she starve herself like this? If she wanted to be able to help Eragon, surely she should eat so she would be strong enough to do something?

Ill Logic: 146

Eragon, of course, does not note this at all, and instead asks if she caught anything. She says she caught a “young buck”, which the self-published edition notes she did in “a white meadow”. The buck was “wise enough” to guard against land predators, but not against aerial ones. Well, little wonder, given that dragons have been gone for a hundred years. When she first caught the buck, he tried to escape, but she was stronger, “and when defeat became unavoidable, he gave up and died.” And…? Well, that leads into this: “Does Garrow also fight the inevitable?”

1) Garrow does not do much fighting, since he is currently unconscious.

2) It is not inevitable, Saphira! Brom could heal him if he wanted to!

3) What do you suggest be done when Garrow is “fighting the inevitable”, then? That he should give up and die? What an awful thing to say to Eragon!

4) And again there is the insistence that going against “fate/the inevitable” is wrong.

Hell-Bound Partners: 173

Resistance Is Futile: 4

Eragon says he does not know, and explains the situation to her. He says that it will be “a long time, if ever”, before they can go home, he will not be able to see her for a while, and so she “might as well make [herself] comfortable.” Saphira gets unhappy about this, saying that she “will do as [he says]”, and telling him not to take too long. In the self-published edition, she adds that even she “cannot tarry forever.”

I have to say I just love how unhappy she is about this, as if it is a very unreasonable thing he says, while she barely complains about the other awful things he has done to her (an entire series later, and I am still waiting on the complaint about being tied to a tree for two weeks.)

Well, they part “reluctantly”, and Eragon looks out a window, where he is surprised to see that the sun has set. Let me see… According to this calculator, there would be 10 hours and 23 minutes of sunlight. That clashes severely with the self-published edition. Before Eragon falls asleep there, it notes that it is noon. So in that edition, everything between that point and Eragon looking out of the window would take some five hours, then. True, that could work if Eragon slept for some four hours, but I doubt that Gertrude’s visit to Garrow was intended to take four entire hours.

Oh well, at least the Knopf edition makes it plausible that Eragon just woke up later in the afternoon. Back with the story, Eragon, “[f]eeling very tired”, gets up and walks over to Elain. In the self-published edition, she is “tying packages with lengths of stout twine.” I guess those are packages with food? In the Knopf edition, however, she is “wrapping meat pies with oilcloth”. No idea why this was changed, but whatever.

Eragon says that he will go to Gertrude’s to sleep, and we are told that Elain “finishe[s] with the packages”. So apparently Paolini only changed “packages” once, even though this is in the very next paragraph. Consequently, we have a quite confusing experience for people who only have the Knopf edition. Very well done.

PPP: 455

Elain offers that he could stay at Horst’s house, as he will be closer to Garrow, “and Gertrude can have her bed back.” And, as I have already pointed out, why did they not do to begin with, then? Why is this presented as such a smart idea after the fact? And also, why does Gertrude need to lend her own bed to patients? Again, why has no one bothered to give her more space?

Ill Logic: 146

I genuinely get the impression that Paolini never thought of this before this point, and it is just weird to see him accidentally lampshading a plot hole.

PPP: 456

Eragon asks if they have enough room, and Elain says “of course”. So what was all this business with there not being enough room for, then? She tells him to come along, and she will get everything ready. So she escorts him upstairs to an empty room, where he sits on the edge of the bed. She asks if he needs anything, he shakes his head, and she says she is downstairs, and he can call if he needs help.

As soon as she has gone down the stairs, he leaves his room and goes over to Garrow’s. Gertrude, who is still busy knitting, gives him “a small smile.” He asks how Garrow is. “Her voice rasp[ing] with fatigue” she says that he is weak, but his fever has decreased somewhat and some of his burns look better. She says they will have to wait and see, but it might just mean that he will recover. Well, good luck with that.

This “lighten[s] [Eragon’s] mood”. The self-published edition notes that he is lulled to sleep by Gertrude’s knitting. He goes back to his room, and goes into bed, He notes that the darkness “seems[s] unfriendly”. Finally, he falls in deep sleep, “healing the wounds his body and soul [have] suffered.” And then, the chapter finally ends.

Let me see…

Protagonist Unconsciousness: 5

It is not yet the biggest source of endings, but I am quite sure it will eventually be.

Onto the questions, then!

What has happened in this chapter?: Well, Eragon had a vision. Then he was at Gertrude’s home for a while, then he saw Garrow, then he was at Horst’s home for a while, and then he went to sleep.

What have we learned in this chapter?: Nothing.

How does this affect the characters?: Well, we do get considerable, and good attention to Garrow’s situation and Eragon’s reaction to it. So that is a definite good thing about it.

In summary, I would say this is a downtime chapter. The main problem is that it is just that: downtime. And, of course, Garrow being nearly dead. That is all there is to this chapter, and it is too little to build it on, so what comes out is something bland and boring, that could have been expressed in half the space.

My biggest gripe, though, is that this chapter stands in the way of the start of the story. Like, we can guess that it will only start properly once Garrow is out of the way, yet we have to wait through an entire chapter for it to happen. And, while we have had all kinds of action in the last few chapters, we have had no explanation for it as yet, and we cannot exactly guess what form the plot will take. So, I will give this chapter this:

Get to the Point Already: 17 (+6) (one point for every 500 words, and rounded)

Well, next time, Garrow dies. Until then!

		K
Content
A Better Commando Name		12
All the Isms		7
Bullyay		31
	Murdered by the Convocation	8
	Perfection is Pure	3
Hell-Bound Partners		173
Ill Logic		146
Just Drink the Poison		0
Look Away		348
Manual Patch Job		59
No Touchy		6
No-Wave Feminism		58
Petty Ain’t the Word For You		60
Resistance Is Futile		3
RVMP		45
Some Father You Are		34
Some Teacher You Are		0
Sparkly Damsel		14
The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom		140
This is Fine		79
Use ‘Em As You Will		28
What Dragons?		271
Writing
Read the Discussion Boards		8
Dead Herrings		60
Drop It Like It’s Hot		33
Forgot Your Own Canon Again?		86
Forgot the Narrator		24
Get to the Point Already		17
Give Me a Piece of Your Mind		2
Just Gonna Stand There		3
Missing Puzzle Pieces		198
Paoclichés		18
PPP		455
	Forgot Your Own Canon Again?	84
Reaction, Please		72
Shine Bright Like a Diamond		6
Thanks for Explaining		3
The Power of Plot Compels You!		76
This Cannot Be		26
Write It, And Keep It		168
Why Are We Doing This?		64
Cliffhanger Chop		2
Mid-Scene Break		0
Other Ending		6
Protagonist Unconsciousness		4