Eragon: Chapter Ten: Flight of Destiny (Part II)

[pangolin20]

Chapter Ten (Part I) | Table of Contents | Chapter Eleven (Part I)

Kerlois: Welcome back to Eragon, everyone! Last time, Eragon was carried away by Saphira by the power of plot contrivance. As we left off, Saphira was about to land. Before we look into that, let me do the reader post:

 

On chapter one in the self-published edition:

-Tris notes that Eragon’s claim that the water in the glen would mask his scent from the deer is false; it would only make them smell him better.

-They also note that Eragon holding his breath while shooting is perfectly fine, as it reduces the chance of him missing.

Accordingly:

S PPP: 479

On chapter two in the Knopf edition:

-Chessy notes that it makes little sense for the villagers not to try to help Garrow more often, given that they are such a close-knit community. Because Paolini cannot write such communities very well. In-universe, I suspect more Umaroth messing.

Manual Patch Job: 49

S Manual Patch Job: 50

Also, because Scales has revised some older stuff, the relevant count has been updated to:

PPP: 428

And this, because I miscounted earlier:

S Ill Logic: 144

S This Is Fine: 78

Let me begin, then. Eragon looks ahead as Saphira descends, and sees she is aiming for “a small clearing in a valley.” Saphira spirals down, which the self-published edition notes she does “slowly”, and drifts over the treetops. She pulls back as she nears the ground, “fill[s] her wings with air”, and lands on her “rear legs”. Her muscles ripple as they absorb “the shock of impact”. She drops to “all fours” and skips a step to maintain her balance. Eragon slides off before she folds her wings. And that is all there is in this paragraph. There is no relief from Eragon at being on solid ground again; there is just no reaction from him at all. And I would be fine with that if there were some indication that he has been numbed by the experience, only he will soon show he is everything but.

Reaction, Please: 58

S Reaction, Please: 58

As he hits the ground, his “knees buckle[]” and he hits his ground on the snow. Well, that was only to be expected, really, given that his legs must be completely cramped by now. And so “excruciating pain sear[s] through his legs”, making him gasp and tearing up his eyes. We are then told that his muscles are indeed cramped, and they “[shake] violently.” He rolls on his back, “shivering”, and slowly stretches, trying to work out the cramps. The Knopf edition amends this to Eragon trying to stretch his limbs. Then he makes himself look down, I assume to see what caused the pain. And then things go off the rails again.

Eragon can see “[t]wo large blots” on his “wool pants on the insides of his thighs”. He reaches down and touches the fabric. He notices it is wet. He gets “[a]larmed”, peels off the pants and grimaces. “The insides of his legs were raw and bloody. The skin was gone, rubbed off by Saphira’s hard scales.”

Well, let me see what is wrong with this…

First off, why has he not felt this before now? Having skin rubbed off like this is quite painful, after all, and if it is “excruciating”, why did he not notice this in the several hours before now? He could notice the environment, after all, so why not the pain in his legs?

Second, how has this happened? He just said he was clenching all the time, which we have also seen, so there is no way his skin could have rubbed against anything, and especially not to this extent. True, he probably rubbed along her sides when she changed course, but that would not be nearly enough to cause this. Wounds like this would require continuous friction over a long time, and I simply cannot see how that could have happened.

Three, it is not Saphira’s scales that would have caused this, but his wool pants. Come to think of it, should there not be wear spots on his pants, too? Why are those not there, then?

In short, what Eragon says happened literally cannot have happened, so Eragon has wounded legs for no discernible reason.

Sparkly Damsel: 14

S Sparkly Damsel: 15

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 75 (+10)

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 77 (+10)

Write It, And Keep It: 168

S Write It, And Keep It: 168

Why Are We Doing This?: 50 (+10)

S Why Are We Doing This?: 52 (+10)

And this is just so unnecessary! Without Saphira, Eragon would be forced to hike back, which would take days, so he does not even have to have his legs shredded to be unable to help. But no, we just have to make sure that Eragon can do absolutely nothing (hence the Sparkly Damsel points). Going to in-universe, I am not entirely sure why this would happen… Ah, I can see Umaroth do this so Eragon is more likely to go along with Brom later on. I will go with that, then.

Manual Patch Job: 50

S Manual Patch Job: 51

Regarding the possible Look Away points for this, I think it would be better to point all of this out at the big reveal.

Anyway, Eragon softly touches the “abrasions” and winces. Not that he is shocked at this, or reacts in any way to this.

Reaction, Please: 63 (+2)

S Reaction, Please: 63 (+2)

Because who cares if your legs have large wounds on them that might even result in permanent damage! Paolini, I want to read about an actual person, not an animated mannequin, so please do make Eragon act like the former. Anyway, Eragon pulls the pants back on as “[c]old [bites] into him”. He cries out as he the pants go over his wounds. He tries to stand up, but “his legs [will] not support him.” Yes, this is quite a problem indeed.

The night deepens around him, “obscur[ing] his surroundings”, and he is unfamiliar with the mountains. So Eragon does what he does best: start to think a lot about what is happening. He says that he is in the Spine, he does not know where he is, “during the middle of winter, with a crazed dragon, unable to walk or find shelter.”

Hmmm, it is winter, by some definitions, but it is still the 18^th of December. That is certainly not “the middle of winter”, so I have no idea what Eragon is talking about.

Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 84

S Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 105

I am sorry to say, Paolini, but the “harvest moon” you mentioned in the prologue does mean something. Regarding “crazed dragon”, I say this:

Hell-Bound Partners: 125

S Hell-Bound Partners: 126

He then says that night is falling, he has to go back to the farm tomorrow, and the only way to do so is to fly, which he can not endure. Yes, thank you, we could have surmised all of this ourselves.

Get to the Point Already: 10

S Get to the Point Already: 21

Now there is a bit that changed between editions. The self-published one goes first. Eragon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He thinks that it is night, and that it will get “much colder.” He says he cannot “crawl or drag himself to shelter”. (Not that I am sure how he exactly knows that, but I will take his word on it.) He says he is certain to freeze if he stays there, and he wishes that Saphira can “breath fire.”

S PPP: 480

In the Knopf edition, he takes a deep breath, and immediately goes to wishing Saphira could breathe fire, which does not make much sense now that the context is removed. So here, the revision literally made things worse. Well-done, I suppose.

PPP: 429

At least it fixed the earlier typo. Anyway, Eragon turns his head and sees Saphira next to him, “crouched low to the ground.” Good to see her again, after she just completely disappeared while Eragon looked at his legs.

What Dragons?: 270

S What Dragons?: 270

He puts a hand to her side, and notes she is trembling. She must have been horribly frightened, after all. Poor Saphira. The “barrier in her mind” is gone, and her fear now runs through Eragon. He “clamp[s] down on it” and slowly soothes her. That is actually nice of him to do. He then asks her why the Ra’zac frighten her.

She says “Murderers”. In the self-published edition, he “patiently” says that he knows, and then asks her why she fled. Um, Eragon, why do you say “I know”? As far as you know, they have no murdered anyone yet, so what are you talking about? Anyway, he asks her what she was thinking! Well, that the elves were here and they are about to kill everyone? Would that satisfy you, Eragon? The Knopf edition leaves this off, and immediately jumps to this:

Garrow is in danger and you had to kidnap me on this ridiculous journey! Are you unable to protect me? S

Garrow is in danger and you kidnap me on this ridiculous journey! Are you unable to protect me? K

1) “Kidnap” is quite out of place here.

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 17

S Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 20

2) Well, what do you wish she did, then!? I already explained back in part one that this is the best course of action she might have taken, and I do stand by that.

3) She did not kidnap you! You got on her back yourself, and she was not aware of you, as you could have easily picked up by now! None of that is kidnapping, and it is your own fault you are here, you filthy liar! What only makes this worse is that, as Saphira does not remember any of this, she has no way to verify that she did not actually mean to abduct Eragon. And, of course, he will never apologise for this.

Hell-Bound Partners: 130 (+5)

S Hell-Bound Partners: 131 (+5)

Look Away: 345

S Look Away: 352

4) Yes, of course she can protect you! That is why you are here! Again, do you think you stand a chance against the Ra’zac? Also, what a very nasty thing to say to her.

Hell-Bound Partners: 131

S Hell-Bound Partners: 132

Saphira “growl[s] deeply and snap[s] her jaws” at Eragon’s last comment. He then says this:

Ah, so you think you can, but why run? S

Ah, but if you think you can, why run? K

Well, because she is very much afraid? Which you should know. This also feels like some kind of taunt to me, too.

Hell-Bound Partners: 132

S Hell-Bound Partners: 133

Saphira replies with the non-sequitur “Death is a poison.” Eragon leans up on his elbow “and stifle[s] his frustration.” Oh, are you frustrated now? Is it too much to be at least somewhat concerned for Saphira?

Paoclichés: 15

S Paoclichés: 18

He tells her to look where they are, saying that the sun is down and “[her] flight has stripped [his] legs as easily as [he] would scale a fish”. No, it cannot have, and it only hurt your thighs, not your entire legs. There is no need to exaggerate, Eragon; Saphira already feels bad enough.

Hell-Bound Partners: 133

S Hell-Bound Partners: 134

He asks her if that is what she wanted. Saphira says no (because why in the world would she want to do this??). Then this happens:

Then why did you do it? he demanded. Through his link with Saphira, he felt her regret for his pain, but not for her actions. She looked away and refused to answer. (from the Knopf edition, because I did not feel like displaying both editions)

Stop laying into her, Eragon! Also, I hate the way this is phrased. Saying that she “refuses to answer” seems designed to make her look like she is in the wrong, and she knows it.

Only her reaction here is completely justified! She was not in control of herself, and she absolutely does not have to regret that. I mean, she regrets his pain, something she cannot do anything about, either! So she does not want him to get hurt! What more do you want from her, Eragon?!

Ugh. I just hate how the narrative tries to shift the blame to Saphira, while, if there is any blame, it lies fully with Eragon. And we are apparently supposed to agree, because after this, it is never brought up again. Oh, and also note that Eragon has not asked how she is feeling or something silly like that. Because the only thing that matters is that she did not follow his wishes.

Bullyay: 31

S Bullyay: 32

Hell-Bound Partners: 138 (+5)

S Hell-Bound Partners: 139 (+5)

Look Away: 346

S Look Away: 353

This Is Fine: 74

S This Is Fine: 79

Anyway. The awfulness is at least over for this chapter now. Eragon notes that the “icy temperature deaden[s] his legs”. It lessens the pain, but Eragon knows it is not good. He “change[s] tack” (so he decides to treat Saphira with some measure of respect). He says that he will freeze unless she makes “a shelter or hollow” for him, and even “a pile of pine needles and branches” will do.

Saphira “seem[s] relieved that he [has] stopped interrogating her.” Well, what a miracle. She says there is no need for that, as she will curl around him and cover him with her wings, and “the fire inside [her] will stay the cold.” That is certainly nice of her, and I do like that we will see “dragon curls up around Rider” several more times in this series. Come to think of it, Fumurti could probably do that with me, too… Might try it out some time.

Eragon “let[s] his head thump back on the ground.” And he promptly gets a concussion, because letting your head fall on hard ground is an awful thing to do. Okay, nothing happens to him, but it is still not a good idea.

Ill Logic: 124

S Ill Logic: 145

He says it is fine, as long as she scrapes the snow off, as that will be “more comfortable.” So Saphira sweeps a snowdrift away with her tail, and then sweeps “the last few inches of hardened snow” off. Eragon looks at the exposed dirt “with distaste”, for some reason. He says he cannot walk to that (not that he has to), and that Saphira will have to help him over. She lays her head, which is “larger than his torso”, next to him. He stares at her eyes for a bit, and then grabs one of her “ivory spikes”. She then lifts her head, and drags him over to the spot. Good way to do it.

He urges her to be gently, and “[s]tars dance[] in his eyes” as he goes over a rock, but he makes it there. After he lets go (or “disengage[s] his arms”, as the self-published edition puts it), Saphira rolls onto her side, “exposing her warm belly”. He huddles against her scales, and she extends her “right wing” over him, which forms a “living tent”. That is certainly nice, though I think that sleeping with an extended wind through the night would be quite uncomfortable. Almost immediately, the air “[begins] to lose its frigidity.” That seems quite unlikely to me. Saphira does not radiate as much warmth as a campfire, after all, so there would be a noticeable pause before it begins to warm.

PPP: 430

S PPP: 481

He pulls his arms inside his coat, and ties the sleeves around his neck (very tight, please). For the first time, he notices he is hungry, but “it [does] not distract him from his main worry: Could he get back before the strangers did? And if not, what would happen?” Good to see Eragon actually worry about this, even though it is at the tail end of the chapter. He thinks that even if he can make himself ride Saphira, it will be “at least midafternoon” until they get back, and the Ra’zac could be there much earlier. This scene is at least effective at conveying the hopelessness of the situation. He closes his eyes and feels “a single tear” slide down his face, as he asks himself what he has done.

Paoclichés: 16

S Paoclichés: 19

Yes, Eragon, do ask yourself that question. Well, at least the chapter ends here.

How would I class this? I would go for Protagonist Unconsciousness, as Eragon wakes up as the first thing in the next chapter.

Protagonist Unconsciousness: 3

S Protagonist Unconsciousness: 3

Onto the chapter-end questions, then.

What has happened in this chapter?: Eragon decides to reveal Saphira to Garrow, then decides not to reveal here, and is carried away after Saphira gets a panic attack because she thinks she is in the middle of an elven massacre (or that is what I think). She flies away and finally lands, Eragon tries to invade her mind and is generally awful to her, and end chapter.

One of my problems with this chapter is the sheer contrivance of it. Eragon has no reason to suddenly not want to reveal Saphira, and his legs being torn up literally cannot have happened like the story insists it does. I just refuse to believe it, and that makes it hard to care.

Another problem is how awful Eragon is to Saphira, from yelling at her for having a panic attack, to trying to invade her mind. I just find it hard to care for what happens when it is continually overshadowed by this.

As a last point, the framing of “Eragon and Saphira are Garrow’s only hope and things will go wrong if they are no there” does not make sense, either. As I already pointed out, they are better off in the Spine, and, anyway, Brom is far better equipped to deal with them, and also there. The tension should rather be in whether or not Brom succeeds, so this is really out of Eragon and Saphira’s hands.

PPP: 435 (+5) (for trying to get emotional investment out of an untrue premise)

S PPP: 486 (+5)

What have we learned in this chapter?: Nothing, except that the Ra’zac (apparently) can mess with people’s minds in interesting ways.

How does this affect the characters?: Well, Eragon is worried about Garrow, and at the very end, he is afraid what might happen. His thighs are also wounded, which he takes completely in stride, and which is completely unnecessary anyway.

Saphira does not get much of a reaction to being sent into a panic state for several hours, except that she regrets it. Well, she simply ought to be Eragon, I suppose.

And that was it for now. Next chapter will see Fumurti again, and you will see me again in chapter 13! Until then!

		K	S
Content
A Better Commando Name		10	10
All the Isms		7	7
Bullyay		31	32
	Murdered by the Convocation	7	8
	Perfection is Pure	3	3
Hell-Bound Partners		138	139
Ill Logic		124	145
Just Drink the Poison		0	0
Look Away		346	353
Manual Patch Job		50	51
No Touchy		5	5
No-Wave Feminism		56	62
Petty Ain’t the Word For You		60	68
Resistance Is Futile		2	4
RVMP		45	46
Some Father You Are		33	34
Some Teacher You Are		0	0
Sparkly Damsel		14	15
The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom		140	140
This is Fine		74	79
Use ‘Em As You Will		28	28
What Dragons?		270	270
Writing
Backpedal Lip Service		8	7
Dead Herrings		60	82
Drop It Like It’s Hot		33	33
Forgot the Narrator		17	20
Get to the Point Already		10	21
Just Gonna Stand There		3	6
Missing Puzzle Pieces		197	198
Paoclichés		16	19
PPP		435	486
	Forgot Your Own Canon Again?	84	105
Reaction, Please		63	63
Shine Bright Like a Diamond		5	5
Thanks for Explaining		3	16
The Power of Plot Compels You!		75	77
Write It, And Keep It		168	168
Why Are We Doing This?		50	52
Cliffhanger Chop		2	3
Mid-Scene Break		0	0
Other Ending		6	6
Protagonist Unconsciousness		3	3