Stalking Darkness - Chapter Twenty-Four
Oct. 20th, 2023 10:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kalinara posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
i_read_whatSorry, this one's a bit late. It's been a busy week.
So last time, we came face to face with Seregil's backstory. We also had a surprising reveal about Alec. Personally, I have mixed feelings about it. I don't mind it as a trait, it does make sense for him and it adds something interesting to explore later.
I don't think the reveal was executed particularly well though. We've been in the point of view of characters who, we're told, figured it out right away. And there wasn't a mention of it, there really wasn't much by way of a hint either. I can appreciate that Flewelling likely wanted to save the reveal for the audience - and it's not a bad one. But the execution wasn't the greatest.
The best comparison I can make, when it comes to this kind of thing is Megan Whalen Turner's "The Thief". The Thief is one of those books that's very hard to review or recommend, because a core element of the story isn't revealed until almost the end. It's quite exquisite though, because on reread, every single thing that the first person narrator says has a different meaning. But it still makes sense. It made sense when we didn't know and it makes sense when we do know.
I think the trick that made it work, primarily, is that there was an actual reason that the narrator didn't tell us: he was writing the account, after the fact, to a character who already knew. There wasn't any need to say such a basic, fundamental thing.
Here though, we're working with third person limited narration. It's meant to be slightly post-contemporaneous to the action - past tense, but not like a historical document or memoir. There's no assumption about the audience, so there really wasn't any reason for Seregil to not mention that Alec is half-faie. There wasn't any reason for Nysander or Micum not to mention it either. It's not quite as egregious as Rhiannon's point of view chapter of Pride of Princes, but it's still facts undisclosed solely for the purpose of the reveal. And that's clumsy.
Okay, rant done. Let's start the chapter.
Hey, we're with Beka this time. It's been a while. She's been on the march in Mycena. Her people seem to be in pretty high spirits - they're making old, silly jokes to break the monotony. Beka's been sent with a "decuria" - I'm assuming a group of ten, for supplies.
They've been traveling for a month - cold camps and billets in garrisons and courtyards. They haven't seen battle yet, but that will come. It'll be the real test.
Beka has noticed that her riders still tend to look to her sergeants for guidance instead of her. That stings a bit, but she does admit that they're the most experienced veterans. And they're always respectful of her rank. She also realizes that she only has her rank because she has a wealthy friend and patron. Otherwise, she'd probably only have made sergeant herself. We're told that some of the lieutenants have sneered at her or been condescending, but not her brother officers in Captain Myrhini's troop.
The regional commander, by the way, is Prince Korathan. He's Phoria and Klia's brother. He's been mentioned a few times before.
Beka and Mercalle, one of her sergeants, notice the riders getting reckless and Beka suggests that the horse could use a run. They race toward the trees. Beka's horse, we're told, could have easily outdistanced most of the others, but she holds back so that some of the others finish with a tie.
“I hear they always finish together,” Marten grumbled as the rest of the riders reined in around the winners. A few of the others smirked at this.
Sexual relations in the ranks were frowned on, and a careless pregnancy got both parties cashiered, but it happened, nonetheless. Still celibate herself, Beka chose to turn a blind eye to who was sharing blankets with who. A number of her riders had come into the regiment already paired, including Kaylah and Zir. Others, like Mirn and Steb, had formed bonds during the march.
Sergeant Braknil had advised her to ignore it - "as long as its honorable" - I hope that means consensual. He says it'll make them fight harder as no one wants to look like a coward to their lover. And indeed, the mentioned Kaylah and Zir are very competitive against each other and everyone else.
We get some description for them, which makes me worried they're going to die soon:
Kaylah was a pretty blond who looked almost too fragile for a warrior’s life, but she was like a centaur on horseback, and could match anyone in the turma with a bow. Zir, a young, black-bearded bear of a man, had Sakor’s own sword arm mounted or afoot.
There are descriptions that scream "this is a major character" and descriptions that scream "this is so you can identify their corpses later". This...kind of seems like the last. But we'll see.
They get to town. It's prosperous. The townspeople are a bit askance at the soldiers, but they like the gold. Beka's able to purchase everything they need ("parchment, flints, wax, honey, meal and flour, dried fruit and beans, salt, smoked meats, ale, four fat sheep and a pig, oats and winter fodder for the horses" - for people who, like me, enjoy lists) and the riders get to buy some luxuries for themselves and their comrades - things like tobacco, playing cards, sweetmeats, fruits and writing utensils. Apparently some even bought chickens and geese - presumably pre-killed as they're slung from the saddlebows.
Mercalle, we're told, shops for the other sergeants: nuts and raisins for Portus and Mycenian cider brandy for Braknil.
I notice one of the soldiers is named Tobin. I like that as the spin off trilogy, set during a much earlier reign, has a character named Tobin. Avoids the "there's only one X" trope.
On the way back, Beka chats with the carter. The carter is not terribly friendly, but it's understandable that he's worried about how his town will fare when the soldiers clash. And he points out that the Plenimarians never took them yet, and the Skalan soldiers never stopped them from trying.
Beka is offended but decides not to argue. They continue on when suddenly there's a horse scream - it's an AMBUSH.
Ooo. Well, now there's action. Beka yells at the carters to take cover and sizes up the situation. The point riders aren't back yet. There's only cannon fodder here. Uh oh. There are a lot of arrows. The one carter thinks it's bandits, Beka's a bit upset that no one mentioned bandits - but the carter admits they hadn't seen any through most of the winter.
Beka finds some of her people. She tells them to stop shooting back - they can't waste the arrows. Wait for a clear shot and grab for any arrows they can without getting hit.
Anyway, I'm not going to go into too much detail here. It's very exciting. There's action. At one point an arrow gets Beka's cloak. She yanks it loose and continues to shoot. She also realizes, amidst the fighting, that she's taking human lives - it sounds like it's her first time - but she doesn't have time to be emotional. She keeps shooting.
At some point Mercalle and company return and join in. Whoo.
Eventually they win - more than twenty ambushers are dead. The lead carter identifies them as "Garon's crew". And well, it seems like maybe I was wrong to describe the two as death bait. There are no losses on Beka's side! Yay!
The sergeants remind her of the first kill custom. Because she's Micum's daughter, she already knew about that. She has each person who made their first kill go find their killing shaft or take out their swords.
Beka herself goes over to the first swordsman she killed. She is glad to be alive, but not happy to have killed him. She pulls out the arrow. When they get back into the group she asks about special words - whatever she wants. She picks "May we all fight together with honor, mercy and strength".
With that, she touched the arrowhead to her tongue and the coppery tang of the blood flooded her mouth. She wanted to grimace and spit, but she kept her face calm as she cleaned the arrowhead in the snow and dropped it back into her quiver.
Ew.
Later on, Myrhini comes to talk with her. Beka's acquitted herself well, though Beka herself has some regrets for having sent riders ahead. Myrhini thinks actually that she did well. This exchange is cute:
Beka looked at her in surprise, but Myrhini motioned for her not to interrupt. “I assumed that because we were in neutral territory, it was safe to send a decuria out on its own. If you’d had the turma with you, those brigands would never have attacked. Of course, you were far too tactful and inexperienced to bring this to my attention when I gave you that order, weren’t you?”
Beka couldn’t quite read the officer’s cryptic smile. “No, Captain, it just never occurred to me that we’d need any more people than that for a supply run.”
“Then we were both in error,” Myrhini said. “But learn and live, as a certain friend of ours always says. You did well, Lieutenant. Sergeant Mercalle thinks you’ve got the makings of a good fighter, by the way.”
Heh, Beka is too straightforward to play politics like that.
Apparently she impressed them also by the way she was grinning when she fought. Myrhini asks if she was scared. Beka wasn't. Not during the fight. Myrhini calls her Sakor touched, but seemed pleased.
The chapter ends here.
It's a short one, but I'm tired, so we'll resume next week!
So last time, we came face to face with Seregil's backstory. We also had a surprising reveal about Alec. Personally, I have mixed feelings about it. I don't mind it as a trait, it does make sense for him and it adds something interesting to explore later.
I don't think the reveal was executed particularly well though. We've been in the point of view of characters who, we're told, figured it out right away. And there wasn't a mention of it, there really wasn't much by way of a hint either. I can appreciate that Flewelling likely wanted to save the reveal for the audience - and it's not a bad one. But the execution wasn't the greatest.
The best comparison I can make, when it comes to this kind of thing is Megan Whalen Turner's "The Thief". The Thief is one of those books that's very hard to review or recommend, because a core element of the story isn't revealed until almost the end. It's quite exquisite though, because on reread, every single thing that the first person narrator says has a different meaning. But it still makes sense. It made sense when we didn't know and it makes sense when we do know.
I think the trick that made it work, primarily, is that there was an actual reason that the narrator didn't tell us: he was writing the account, after the fact, to a character who already knew. There wasn't any need to say such a basic, fundamental thing.
Here though, we're working with third person limited narration. It's meant to be slightly post-contemporaneous to the action - past tense, but not like a historical document or memoir. There's no assumption about the audience, so there really wasn't any reason for Seregil to not mention that Alec is half-faie. There wasn't any reason for Nysander or Micum not to mention it either. It's not quite as egregious as Rhiannon's point of view chapter of Pride of Princes, but it's still facts undisclosed solely for the purpose of the reveal. And that's clumsy.
Okay, rant done. Let's start the chapter.
Hey, we're with Beka this time. It's been a while. She's been on the march in Mycena. Her people seem to be in pretty high spirits - they're making old, silly jokes to break the monotony. Beka's been sent with a "decuria" - I'm assuming a group of ten, for supplies.
They've been traveling for a month - cold camps and billets in garrisons and courtyards. They haven't seen battle yet, but that will come. It'll be the real test.
Beka has noticed that her riders still tend to look to her sergeants for guidance instead of her. That stings a bit, but she does admit that they're the most experienced veterans. And they're always respectful of her rank. She also realizes that she only has her rank because she has a wealthy friend and patron. Otherwise, she'd probably only have made sergeant herself. We're told that some of the lieutenants have sneered at her or been condescending, but not her brother officers in Captain Myrhini's troop.
The regional commander, by the way, is Prince Korathan. He's Phoria and Klia's brother. He's been mentioned a few times before.
Beka and Mercalle, one of her sergeants, notice the riders getting reckless and Beka suggests that the horse could use a run. They race toward the trees. Beka's horse, we're told, could have easily outdistanced most of the others, but she holds back so that some of the others finish with a tie.
“I hear they always finish together,” Marten grumbled as the rest of the riders reined in around the winners. A few of the others smirked at this.
Sexual relations in the ranks were frowned on, and a careless pregnancy got both parties cashiered, but it happened, nonetheless. Still celibate herself, Beka chose to turn a blind eye to who was sharing blankets with who. A number of her riders had come into the regiment already paired, including Kaylah and Zir. Others, like Mirn and Steb, had formed bonds during the march.
Sergeant Braknil had advised her to ignore it - "as long as its honorable" - I hope that means consensual. He says it'll make them fight harder as no one wants to look like a coward to their lover. And indeed, the mentioned Kaylah and Zir are very competitive against each other and everyone else.
We get some description for them, which makes me worried they're going to die soon:
Kaylah was a pretty blond who looked almost too fragile for a warrior’s life, but she was like a centaur on horseback, and could match anyone in the turma with a bow. Zir, a young, black-bearded bear of a man, had Sakor’s own sword arm mounted or afoot.
There are descriptions that scream "this is a major character" and descriptions that scream "this is so you can identify their corpses later". This...kind of seems like the last. But we'll see.
They get to town. It's prosperous. The townspeople are a bit askance at the soldiers, but they like the gold. Beka's able to purchase everything they need ("parchment, flints, wax, honey, meal and flour, dried fruit and beans, salt, smoked meats, ale, four fat sheep and a pig, oats and winter fodder for the horses" - for people who, like me, enjoy lists) and the riders get to buy some luxuries for themselves and their comrades - things like tobacco, playing cards, sweetmeats, fruits and writing utensils. Apparently some even bought chickens and geese - presumably pre-killed as they're slung from the saddlebows.
Mercalle, we're told, shops for the other sergeants: nuts and raisins for Portus and Mycenian cider brandy for Braknil.
I notice one of the soldiers is named Tobin. I like that as the spin off trilogy, set during a much earlier reign, has a character named Tobin. Avoids the "there's only one X" trope.
On the way back, Beka chats with the carter. The carter is not terribly friendly, but it's understandable that he's worried about how his town will fare when the soldiers clash. And he points out that the Plenimarians never took them yet, and the Skalan soldiers never stopped them from trying.
Beka is offended but decides not to argue. They continue on when suddenly there's a horse scream - it's an AMBUSH.
Ooo. Well, now there's action. Beka yells at the carters to take cover and sizes up the situation. The point riders aren't back yet. There's only cannon fodder here. Uh oh. There are a lot of arrows. The one carter thinks it's bandits, Beka's a bit upset that no one mentioned bandits - but the carter admits they hadn't seen any through most of the winter.
Beka finds some of her people. She tells them to stop shooting back - they can't waste the arrows. Wait for a clear shot and grab for any arrows they can without getting hit.
Anyway, I'm not going to go into too much detail here. It's very exciting. There's action. At one point an arrow gets Beka's cloak. She yanks it loose and continues to shoot. She also realizes, amidst the fighting, that she's taking human lives - it sounds like it's her first time - but she doesn't have time to be emotional. She keeps shooting.
At some point Mercalle and company return and join in. Whoo.
Eventually they win - more than twenty ambushers are dead. The lead carter identifies them as "Garon's crew". And well, it seems like maybe I was wrong to describe the two as death bait. There are no losses on Beka's side! Yay!
The sergeants remind her of the first kill custom. Because she's Micum's daughter, she already knew about that. She has each person who made their first kill go find their killing shaft or take out their swords.
Beka herself goes over to the first swordsman she killed. She is glad to be alive, but not happy to have killed him. She pulls out the arrow. When they get back into the group she asks about special words - whatever she wants. She picks "May we all fight together with honor, mercy and strength".
With that, she touched the arrowhead to her tongue and the coppery tang of the blood flooded her mouth. She wanted to grimace and spit, but she kept her face calm as she cleaned the arrowhead in the snow and dropped it back into her quiver.
Ew.
Later on, Myrhini comes to talk with her. Beka's acquitted herself well, though Beka herself has some regrets for having sent riders ahead. Myrhini thinks actually that she did well. This exchange is cute:
Beka looked at her in surprise, but Myrhini motioned for her not to interrupt. “I assumed that because we were in neutral territory, it was safe to send a decuria out on its own. If you’d had the turma with you, those brigands would never have attacked. Of course, you were far too tactful and inexperienced to bring this to my attention when I gave you that order, weren’t you?”
Beka couldn’t quite read the officer’s cryptic smile. “No, Captain, it just never occurred to me that we’d need any more people than that for a supply run.”
“Then we were both in error,” Myrhini said. “But learn and live, as a certain friend of ours always says. You did well, Lieutenant. Sergeant Mercalle thinks you’ve got the makings of a good fighter, by the way.”
Heh, Beka is too straightforward to play politics like that.
Apparently she impressed them also by the way she was grinning when she fought. Myrhini asks if she was scared. Beka wasn't. Not during the fight. Myrhini calls her Sakor touched, but seemed pleased.
The chapter ends here.
It's a short one, but I'm tired, so we'll resume next week!