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i_read_what2024-02-01 03:20 pm
Eragon: Chapter Thirteen: The Madness of Life
Chapter Twelve (Part III) | Table of Contents | Chapter Fourteen (Part I)
Corneille Noire: Welcome back to Eragon, everyone! Last time, Eragon gave an explanation of what happened and Albriech and Baldor went to tell Roran. This time, Eragon finds out that Garrow died.
I also neglected to mention last time that Read the Discussion Boards was the idea of the SCSF, so my apologies for that.
Well, let us begin, then.
Chapter Thirteen / Fourteen: The Madness of Life
That is certainly a… promising title.
Well, we open on Eragon waking up, as we have already done the past two chapters and will be doing some more. It is still dark, and he “jolt[s] upright, breathing hard”. The room is cold, and “goosebumps form[] on his arms and shoulders.” He says that it is some hours before dawn, and we are told this is “the time when nothing moves and life appears to be in stasis, waiting for the first warm touches of sunlight.” The Knopf edition removes the part about life appearing to be in stasis.
This is quite good tone-setting, I will say. I do have a problem with that last part, however, as there are plenty of nocturnal animals who will be active some hours before dawn. Do not let tone-setting get in the way of accuracy, Paolini.
This Cannot Be: 27 (for lack of a better count)
A “terrible premonition grip[s] him” and his heart pounds. He says it is like a “shroud [lies] over the world” and its “darkest corner” is over the room. I think I understand what Paolini is going for, but I am not exactly feeling it. Eragon gets out of bed and dresses, then hurries down the hallway “[w]ith apprehension”. “Alarm [shoots] through him” when he see that the door to Garrow’s room is open and there are people standing inside.
Paoclichés: 19
Garrow lies “peacefully” on the bed. He has been dressed in clean clothing, his hair “[has] been combed back”, and his face is calm. Eragon says he might be sleeping “if not for the silver amulet around his neck and the sprig of dried hemlock on his chest, the last gifts from the living to the dead.” Well, nice to have this bit of worldbuilding.
And now to talk about this. First, I note that Garrow’s death took place off-screen. While that is not a problem per se, it would have more emotional impact, which is clearly what Paolini is trying to go for in this chapter.
And about that emotional impact, I am not particularly feeling it. For one, we have already had quite some time to realise that Garrow will die. For another, him dying is the thing we must get to before the plot can begin in earnest, so the sooner we get to it, the better. And lastly, he was a right bastard who deliberately kept Roran and Eragon isolated from Carvahall, and who could have gotten them killed, so I do not feel sorry at all that he is gone.
Second, why does Garrow die here at all? What was all the trouble with bringing him back to Carvahall for, then? Eragon might as well have found him dead in the wrecked farm, and that would have had more impact. So, it gets this:
PPP: 460 (+5)
This is simply quite poor plotting.
Third, I want to remind everyone that Brom probably could have avoided this by healing Garrow. But of course he does not, because that would get in the way of the plot! Hmmm, qua counts, I think that I will rename The Power of Plot Compels You! to But Thou Must.
But Thou Must: 77
Now back to the chapter. Katrina stands next to the bed, “face pale and eyes downcast”. She whispers that she hoped to “call him father” one day. The Knopf edition capitalises and italicises “father” here.
Then we get this:
S: Call him father, he thought bitterly, a right I don’t even have.
K: Call him Father, he thought bitterly, a right even I don’t have.
The self-published edition makes sense here, though he apparently changes his mind on this by the time of Eldest. I also do not exactly get why he is so bitter toward Katrina. Garrow is dead, after all, so what does it matter if she wants to marry Roran and call Garrow “father”?
Ill Logic: 147
Okay, he will probably not be the most rational at this point, but it still makes little sense to put in.
Now for the Knopf edition. His thought there unfortunately makes no sense at all. After all, Roran did have the right to refer to Garrow as his father. And this makes it sound as if Eragon has the most right of anyone to do so, which… is not how the families in Carvahall are described to work. And Eragon ought to know all of this quite well!
Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 85
Ill Logic: 152 (+5)
PPP: 461
So the revision introduced a quite bad error. Well done, Paolini!
Well, we are told that Eragon “[feels] like a ghost, drained of all vitality”. He can only see Garrow’s face clear, and tears “flood[] his cheeks”. How very… bland. Eragon stands there, “shoulder shaking, but [does] not cry out.” See, this is why I do not exactly mourn for Garrow here, because I am certain that this is more of his horrible views that he taught Eragon. The self-published edition even notes that he “[weeps] in silent pain”. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with that upbringing!
Look Away: 349
He says that he has lost his mother, his aunt, and his uncle (the self-published edition capitalises all these terms for some reason). The self-published edition notes that the weight of his grief is “crushing, a monstrous force.” A “pillar of his life” has crumbled, which “leav[es] him tottering without support.” The Knopf edition just says that the weight of his grief is a “monstrous force that [leaves] him tottering.”
Well, if you say so. It is just so incredibly bland that I cannot see why I am supposed to feel anything about this.
Someone leads him to his room, “murmuring consolations.” In the Knopf edition, they are “uttering consolations” instead, which does nothing to help the scene.
Eragon falls on the bed, wraps his arms around his head, and “sob[s] convulsively”. Saphira tries to contact him, but he “pushe[s] her away” and “let[s] himself be swept away by sorrow”. I can barely blame him for not wanting to talk to Saphira now, really. The self-published edition has some more stuff here: “Rational thought was excluded as he floundered in his rampant emotion, crying. His entire being rebelled in horror against the brutal facts.”
This bothers me. Paolini wrote quite good grief last chapter, when Eragon was staring at the table, for example. So why do we get this mess of overwrought, emotionless narration now?
Well, it keeps going. He says that he cannot accept that “Garrow is gone”, because if he does, there is nothing left to believe in, except for “a merciless, uncaring world that snuff[s] lives like candles before a wind.”
PPP: 471 (+10) (for how severely Paolini missed the mark here)
Eragon gets “[f]rsutrated and terrified”—
Paoclichés: 20
—so he “turn[s] his tear-dampened face toward the heavens” and shouts “What god would do this? Show yourself!” I… does he truly not know which gods there are? We have this from chapter five, after all: “He fervently thanked all the gods, known and unknown.” And since he knows gods, why would he not call them out by name here? Did Paolini truly forget this? Or did he need to have a “rage against the gods” moment, consistency be damned? Either way, this is ridiculous.
But Thou Must: 78
Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 85
This Cannot Be: 28
He then shouts louder that Garrow did not deserve this (I am less sure of that than Eragon is). People come “running to his room”, but there is no answer from above.
Now for my thoughts on this. I do not think this moment works especially well, even putting aside how underdeveloped the human gods are, because it is not a natural death. In this case, the Ra’zac were the ones who brought him in this condition in the first place, and Brom was the one who did not do anything to save Garrow.
And I just noticed something: why do people react to him now, and not earlier? For example, why did they not bother to wake him when Garrow died? Yes, I know it is there because Paolini wanted to have Eragon find out on his own, but that is not necessary to the chapter.
But Thou Must: 79
As it is, I am simply left wondering why they did not. True, Eragon was sleeping then, but he would certainly want to be woken then! And they have also had the time to dress Garrow up in nice clothes and give him his parting gifts. So could not a single one of them have taken the time to wake up Eragon, Garrow’s only relative in the house?! This makes all of them look awful!
Ill Logic: 157 (+5)
Look Away: 350
Going forward, I have to say that Katrina’s remark comes across as significantly worse now. Yes, it is sad that she cannot “call him Father”, but Eragon, who was standing in the room then, has lost him, too, and you did not even bother waking him?
Further on, why was their reaction to lead Eragon to his room and giving him some consolations? Was he not allowed, even though he is Garrow’s cousin, to mourn along with the others? Why lead him away to his room as if he got in the way of the others? What is going on here?
Ill Logic: 162 (+5)
Look Away: 351
And of course Eragon never complains about this, or even seems to remember this.
Sparkly Damsel: 15
And only now do they actually pay attention to him.
Well, back to the chapter. “Comforting hands” touch him, and he notes Elain sitting next to him. Because of course she is comforting him. She holds him “as he crie[s]” and eventually he “slip[s] unwillingly into sleep.” End chapter.
Protagonist Unconsciousness: 6
I do think it counts as Cliffhanger Chop, too… I actually want to split this into two. Cliffhanger Chop then goes for chapters that end on an obvious cliffhanger, regardless of length.
So that would be chapter 4, where we end on Saphira hatching, chapter 5, which ends on the revelation that Saphira can talk, and chapter 9, which ends with Brom discovering that Eragon is a Rider.
Cliffhanger Chop: 2
The other count I want to put out is Single-Purpose Chapter, which goes for all the awkwardly short chapters we have had and will have. That would be:
- Chapter 1, where Eragon only finds Saphira’s egg.
- Chapter 4, where Saphira hatches.
- Chapter 7, where Saphira gets her name.
- Chapter 8, where we only fill some time.
- This chapter, where we only find out that Garrow dies.
Single-Purpose Chapter: 5
The phenomenon of “awkwardly short chapter” is worst here, as this has only 387 words in the Knopf edition, which makes it the second-shortest chapter of the entire series.
Well, onto the questions, then.
What has happened in this chapter?: Eragon has found out that Garrow has died. That is all.
What have we learned in this chapter?: Nothing at all.
How does this affect the characters?: It does affect Eragon, but he only feels very overwrought grief, and it all falls flat.
And that was that. Kerlois will see you next time, when things finally pick up. Until chapter 18!
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| K |
|
Content |
|
|
|
A Better Commando Name |
| 12 |
|
All the Isms |
| 7 |
|
Bullyay |
| 31 |
|
| Murdered by the Convocation | 8 |
|
| Perfection is Pure | 3 |
|
Hell-Bound Partners |
| 173 |
|
Ill Logic |
| 167 |
|
Just Drink the Poison |
| 0 |
|
Look Away |
| 351 |
|
Manual Patch Job |
| 59 |
|
No Touchy |
| 6 |
|
No-Wave Feminism |
| 58 |
|
Petty Ain’t the Word For You |
| 60 |
|
Resistance Is Futile |
| 3 |
|
RVMP |
| 45 |
|
Some Father You Are |
| 34 |
|
Some Teacher You Are |
| 0 |
|
Sparkly Damsel |
| 15 |
|
This is Fine |
| 79 |
|
Use ‘Em As You Will |
| 28 |
|
What Dragons? |
| 271 |
|
Writing |
|
|
|
Read the Discussion Boards |
| 8 |
|
Dead Herrings |
| 60 |
|
Drop It Like It’s Hot |
| 33 |
|
Forgot Your Own Canon Again? |
| 86 |
|
Forgot the Narrator |
| 24 |
|
Get to the Point Already |
| 17 | |
Give Me a Piece of Your Mind | 2 |
| |
Just Gonna Stand There |
| 3 |
|
Missing Puzzle Pieces |
| 198 |
|
Paoclichés |
| 20 |
|
PPP |
| 471 |
|
| Forgot Your Own Canon Again? | 85 |
|
Reaction, Please |
| 72 |
|
Shine Bright Like a Diamond |
| 6 |
|
Thanks for Explaining |
| 3 |
|
But Thou Must |
| 79 |
|
This Cannot Be | 28 |
| |
Write It, And Keep It |
| 168 |
|
Why Are We Doing This? |
| 64 |
|
| |||
|
|
|
|
Cliffhanger Chop |
| 2 |
|
Mid-Scene Break |
| 0 |
|
Other Ending |
| 6 |
|
Protagonist Unconsciousness |
| 6 |
|
Single-Purpose Chapter |
| 5 |
|